


r/NuclearRevenge

by Devils_Official



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Death, Dubious Morality, Hurt/Comfort, If I’m leaving anything out lmk, M/M, Supportive Vengeance Husbands, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-02-18 13:50:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 27,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18700882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devils_Official/pseuds/Devils_Official
Summary: The prisoner exchange goes badly.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The rape/non-con is not between Lotor and Sendak, and it’s only for the first chapter. It’s not super graphic, but if you want to skip it, stop reading when Throk shows up.  
> So many people are going to die in this fic, but not Lotor or Sendak.

The trip back to Central Command was long. 

Or… It probably wasn’t long, really, but it  _ felt _ long.

Lotor should try to enjoy it, he knew; after all, this would be the last trip he ever made. 

He never felt more at home than he did when he was at the helm of a ship, sailing through the stars, free and unbound.

It was different now, his wrists shackled, his generals refusing to look at him, his father quietly gleeful, his husband missing or worse.

But at least the Green Paladin had her father back, right?

Everything that happened after they landed at Central Command happened to someone else. 

They cropped someone else’s hair off at the chin with a single stroke of a blade. They tore off someone else’s armor, discarding it like trash.

His father verbally abused someone else. 

He was going to die soon (not soon enough); none of this mattered. 

Just more insult to injury. 

He stared at nothing as they forced him to his knees, tearing open the back of his flightsuit, leaving his back exposed for what would come next. He wasn’t sure if his generals were still here, still watching… He hoped they were, hoped they realized that this was their doing, that they all might have made it if only they’d had a little more faith in him.

Faith wasn’t free, though, and apparently he’d used up all of theirs. If there had been time, perhaps he would have tried to explain, but… They wouldn’t have understood anyway. There would have been no point.

It was all so... _ pointless _ . After everything, he was going to die here, in a matter of weeks (if he was lucky), his body broken and mutilated, his mind destroyed from the pain of it all. After everything he’d done to avoid this fate… Here he was, in the palace of his nightmares. 

No one would come for him. Not Voltron, not his generals, nobody. 

He heard the whip, more than felt it; he was too numb, too disbelieving… 

How had it come to this? He couldn’t understand it. It made no sense… He’d given Voltron everything they’d asked for, and more. He’d impressed upon them what would happen if his father caught him. He’d- 

They hadn’t cared, and he was used to that, he really was, but…

They were supposed to be different. 

He caught the buzz of camera drones, recording and broadcasting this final humiliation, preserving it for posterity. Generations from now, parents would keep their children in line by referencing this moment. Discipline among the ranks would be kept with threats of this fate.

(Would Sendak see this, wherever he was? Lotor hoped not; he wanted to spare him that pain, if he could.)

Would Voltron see this? Would they finally admit that they had made the wrong choice? Probably not; everyone else was wrong, never them.  

He couldn’t stop the hysterical sound that bubbled up from his chest, not a laugh and not a sob, but somewhere in between. 

The whip came down again, though, and it turned into a sob then, and then he couldn’t stop. He wanted to; it was bad enough that he had to go through this in the first place, but maybe if he could have kept the tears at bay until he was alone…

They laughed, poking fun at what a weak bitch he was, crying from a simple whipping.

His father, of course, had to weigh in. “I suppose we cannot expect any better from him; he’s always been pathetic.”

The crowd only laughed harder, until he was finally dragged away.

The guards left him alone, after administering a beating that had probably broken several of his ribs, making it difficult to draw breath without pain. 

By that point, he was too empty to cry anymore, and there would be few reprieves in the coming days, so… He did the only thing he could: huddle in one corner of the cell and try to sleep. 

* * *

It didn’t get better.

Of course it didn’t, and he hadn’t expected it to. Some part of him had hoped it was only a bad dream -he’d had plenty like this over the years -but it was real, and just as awful as he’d imagined. If not more awful, simply because it was real. 

The dreams ended when he woke up; this wouldn’t end until he died in agony. 

Even if he stooped to the level of begging them to end his life, they wouldn’t. They’d just prolong his torment further, make him suffer longer; that’s what he’d deserve, for being such a  _ useless brat _ . 

Worse would happen if they caught him trying to take his own life, so unless he could be absolutely sure he could succeed without interruption or error… Then simply putting up with it was the path of least pain.

That was relative, of course. They gave him small quantities of quintessence, every day before the tortures began, just enough to keep him going, just enough that they didn’t kill him too quickly. But not enough to heal anything, not enough to take away his pain. Not enough to give him the strength to find his way out of this.

* * *

Somehow, it got worse.

He looked up, one day, after being dragged back to his cell -they’d shattered his knee days ago, and he could no longer walk, even if he’d been strong enough -to see Commander Throk standing in the doorway of the cell, several of his cronies on either side of him.

He had an eyepatch over one eye. Perhaps he’d lost it during interrogation, and while he was evidently free now, he obviously had not warranted an actual replacement. 

“Come to take it out on me?” Lotor asked, hating how hoarse his voice was now. How raw. 

“Did you honestly think I wouldn’t?”

“I thought you’d be dead by now,” Lotor said, titling his head back to rest on the wall behind him. The wall aggravated the open lash-makes on his back, but it was the only way he was still upright. He didn’t care what Throk did to him; it didn’t matter. He’d be dead within the next few weeks, probably, and anyway, there wasn’t anything he could do to stop it. Couldn’t fight back. Couldn’t get away. Couldn’t talk his way out of this. So. He just had to take it. 

Throk advanced. “Unfortunately for you, your treachery cleared me, but not before they took my eye.”

”So what do you want from me?” He didn’t care, but as long as Throk was talking, he had a brief reprieve. He didn’t know if this was sanctioned by Zarkon or not, but that didn’t matter either. None of it mattered; he just wanted to stop hurting. 

Throk tangled a hand in what was left of Lotor’s hair and pulled him forward, sending him sprawling face-first onto the ground. It put weight on his knee, and he had to bite back a scream; he wouldn’t give Throk the satisfaction. 

He was too preoccupied with that to figure out what Throk was even planning, although… Perhaps it should have been obvious. 

Throk put a hand on the back of his head, pushing his face into the floor. “It doesn’t matter to me if you enjoy this,” he hissed. “In fact, I hope you don’t.”

With that, Throk shoved what was left of his flightsuit down, and Lotor’s blood ran cold.

He could take torture, but this...this was too far. “No,” he whispered. “No, no, stop!”

Throk only laughed, even as he tried to struggle, ignoring the pain of his broken knee, his ripped open back, his cracked ribs, all the bruises.

He just wasn’t strong enough.

The last of his strength left him when Throk finally pushed in -too fast, too hard, too carelessly.

For a moment, that was the only pain he felt, and it was almost a relief, except that it was just so  _ wrong _ . None of this was right, and he wanted to be anywhere but here. 

Throk didn’t last long -he kept talking the whole time, but it was all just background noise that Lotor couldn’t make sense of -not that it mattered; all of his cronies took turns, too. 

(They were smart enough, at least, to keep their cocks way from Lotor’s mouth; he still had fangs, after all, and he had nothing left to lose in using them.) 

Lotor did his best to keep his mind blank during it. He didn’t want to be in the moment, but neither did he want to sully any of his few good memories by thinking of them now. 

They left, finally, leaving Lotor sprawled on the floor. He didn’t particularly want to move. Or exist. Or anything.

If he just stayed here… 

There was no point in moving. He might as well stay where he was, and anyway, he just didn’t have the strength left. Didn’t have the will, or the energy. 

The floor was cold, but it felt good pressed against all the tender, inflamed places on his body, where they were tearing him apart bit-by-bit. 

One way or another…. It would end, eventually, and then he could rest. 


	2. Chapter 2

“Welcome back, Commander.”

Sendak took a deep breath, looked around. It was Haggar, of course; he should have expected no other.

”Much has happened in your absence,” she continued. “It is time for you to return to the emperor’s side. He requires a new, better heir.”

“What happened to Prince Lotor?” Shouldn’t he still be safely in exile? Far away from Zarkon and the war? He tried to keep the concern out of his voice, but he couldn’t tell if it worked or not.

“He is undergoing the punishment for his treason.”

Sendak tried to bite back his panic. Again, no idea if it worked. It almost didn’t matter: the punishment for treason was death by torture, and-

He was  _ undergoing _ it, which meant he was still alive, but- 

How much time did Lotor have left? 

He pushed himself upright. The witch had removed the prosthetic at some point, probably for upgrades (unless she knew, unless Lotor had given up that information in the hopes that it would spare him -but no, he wouldn’t have. Would he?), and it was somewhat irritating to be without. He’d need it back.

“I have much to catch up on,” he said as calmly as he could. 

She coldly informed him of what had happened while he’d been floating in space, non-passionately, while she reinstalled his arm.

And- 

_ Gods _ . 

He should have been there. He should have been there to help Lotor while he was Emperor Pro Tem. He should have been there to give Lotor a place to hide once Zarkon called for his head. He should have been there to- to do  _ something _ at the prisoner exchange. 

“Emperor Zarkon is in the middle of overseeing justice served,” she said finally. “He should be free to meet with you after.”

Sendak saw red for a moment, just a burst of pure rage, at the thought that she had been so calmly catching him up on current events while Lotor was being actively  _ tortured _ . 

He calmed himself. “Thank you, High Priestess. It is an honor to serve my Emperor.”

She left him, and he took another moment to prepare himself. 

By the time he was ready to go, he still wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop himself from doing something stupid when faced with Lotor’s suffering, but-

Failure wasn’t an option. Victory or death. 

* * *

 

It was somehow worse than he’d anticipated.

Lotor didn’t look at anyone or anything, just stared off blankly into space, as if there was any mental exercise that could save him from this.

All the fight had been beaten out of him. He trembled, he whimpered, but even when they shocked him, he just...wasn’t really there. His muscles contracted as the current ran through them, but that was merely a physiological reaction. 

Sendak couldn’t bring himself to linger too long on Lotor. Not now, when there was an audience, dozens of other officers here to watch, some in glee, some in satisfaction.

They’d have to die for this. All of them. Everyone who had laid a finger on Lotor, everyone who grinned while watching this spectacle. Everyone who had hurt him, or planned to. 

Finally, finally, finally, when they decided Lotor had had enough for now, they dragged him away, his body limp between the two guards, his right leg splayed awkwardly, a thin blood trail following them out.

The spectators left soon after, tittering amongst themselves, but that was far away. Sendak felt like he was back in that pod, like events were moving all around him, and he could do nothing. 

He knelt before Zarkon. “My Emperor.”

“I am relieved that the High Priestess was able to recover you,” Zarkon said. “I require a more satisfactory heir. Someone who will not betray me with his weak and foolish ideas.” 

Sendak had never been so angry in his life. 

Zarkon stood and began to move past Sendak.

An opportunity. Sendak sprang up, a dagger in his right hand -Lotor had impressed upon him the importance of carrying an easily concealable weapon, especially when he had a flashier, more obvious one, to gain the element of surprise -and drove it into one of the few weak points in Zarkon’s armor, angling it so that it severed the arteries of his throat. 

There was surprise in his unnaturally purple eyes as he fell.

“You are blind, old man,” Sendak hissed, pulling the dagger free and bringing it down again, this time slashing across his windpipe, just to be sure. “And you are afraid. You had to get rid of Lotor because you are afraid of what he would have done to you. And you were right: he was going to bring it all down on your head. But he’s not the only one you should have feared.”

The light had died in Zarkon’s eyes, so he was probably dead, but Sendak wasn’t going to take any chances.

He pulled his helmet off -Lotor might require proof -and then left a smoking hole in the floor where Zarkon’s body had been with his prosthetic. Surely not what the witch had intended for him to do with it, but it felt...good.

Or would have, if Lotor wasn’t so badly hurt. 

He left the throne room, contacting the ship’s medics on his comms and ordering them to meet him in the brig. 

Sure enough, Lotor was there. 

He didn’t look up when the door slid open, just huddled in closer on himself, as if trying to protect himself the best he could. 

Sendak swallowed his rage, swallowed his panic, swallowed everything that wouldn’t do him any good right now. There would be time for anger and retribution later; for now… He needed to help Lotor. 

He motioned for the medics to stay back -he wasn’t sure what frame of mind Lotor was in right now, but he knew him well enough to know that he’d need some space - and approached cautiously, a little like trying to approach some feral beast.

“Lotor?” Sendak asked softly. 

Lotor flinched. “Don’t,” he whispered hoarsely. “I don’t know how you found out, but don’t- Not him.”

“Lotor, my love, please look at me.”

“ _ No _ . This isn’t real. Whatever games you are playing, I won’t be a part of them. Tear my body apart, I don’t care. But don’t you dare- Leave him out of this.”

Sendak reached out and stroked Lotor’s cheek -the one that wasn’t swollen and darkly bruised - as gently as he could manage. “Lotor, it’s over. Zarkon’s dead. No one is ever going to hurt you again, I promise.”

Lotor’s breath hitched, and he pressed his cheek into Sendak’s hand. Tears streamed down his face, and he trembled, and yet he still refused to look at Sendak. “I don’t believe you.”

“I know,” Sendak soothed. “I know. But it is over now, my love. It’s going to be alright.”

Sendak gathered him up carefully, mindful of Lotor’s obvious injuries.

Lotor might not have believed that this was real, but he clung to Sendak anyway (as well as he could with the numerous broken fingers that he seemed to have), and Sendak just held him. 

“Please take me away from here,” Lotor whispered through his tears. “Even if it’s just for-  _ for an hour _ . Let me  _ rest _ .” 

Sendak kissed the top of Lotor’s head, even as his heart broke a little. “It’s over. You’re never coming back here. I will protect you, Lotor, like I promised you I would.”

He could tell that Lotor still wasn’t sure if he could trust this or not, but finally he nodded, huddling closer to Sendak, still shivering.

Still hurt and afraid and hopeless. 

“Alright, my love,” Sendak murmured. “I’m going to have a medic make sure you can be moved, and then we’ll get out of here.” He motioned for one of them to come over, and she did. 

Lotor submitted to the preliminary examination, which...was not quite right. Lotor didn’t like doctors, avoided them like the plague.

But there would be time to sort it all out later, and for the moment… Sendak didn’t want Lotor to hurt himself further by panicking and trying to get away.

“He can be moved,” the medic said finally. “But he’ll likely need surgery and several days in a healing pod.”

Sendak nodded; he’d suspected as much.

“Shall we get a stretcher, or-?”

“I’ll carry him.” He didn’t want to let Lotor go again so soon, and he had a feeling  _ -he hoped  _ -that Lotor was getting at least some measure of comfort from this contact. 

He’d had the halls cleared earlier in preparation- he didn’t want anyone to see Lotor like this, and Lotor probably didn’t either -so they made it to the infirmary quickly and easily.

The medics looked kind of horrified, and...perhaps not without reason. Sendak had never heard of an execution of this kind called off before it was complete. 

Lotor had never been intended to survive this.

But he was going to. There were no other acceptable options. 

He tried to set Lotor down, but Lotor was stubborn even in this state. “No, no,  _ no _ , don’t let me go, don’t leave me…”

“Alright,” Sendak soothed. He sat on the cot with Lotor in his lap. “I’m right here.”

The medics exchanged looks, but Sendak merely glared at them until they got to work.

They did a series of scans, first, verifying the extent of Lotor’s injuries, and it really was a miracle that he was still alive, even with the quintessence they’d been dosing him with. 

Shattered kneecap, broken ribs, internal bleeding, fractured orbital, lash-marks that went down to the bone, burns, four broken fingers (three on one hand) and several broken bones in his right hand… The list went on. 

“Oh, my love…” Sendak sighed, while the medics went aside to discuss a course of action. “How’d it end up like this?”

Lotor just shook his head.

“I’m never leaving you again,” Sendak murmured. “I wasn’t here to protect you, and I should have been, but I promise you, my love, that no one will ever hurt you again.” 

The medics came back finally. “We’d like to operate immediately,” the head medic said. She rattled off a list of all the reasons why they needed to operate -replacing Lotor’s shattered knee with an implant, realigning his ribs, finding the source(s) of his internal bleeding, debriding his various open wounds, setting  bones… 

“Lotor?”

Lotor had tucked himself under Sendak’s chin, hiding himself as best he could. “It hurts,” he whispered. 

“I know. Will you let them help you?”

“Make it stop, Sendak. I’m tired. I want to rest.”

“Alright.” Sendak held him close for a moment. It hurt seeing Lotor like this, and it hurt more knowing that maybe he could have done something to stop this sooner, if only- “Alright. They’re going to operate now, my love. You won’t feel anything, and when you wake up, you’ll be someplace safe.”

“Will you be there?”

“Of course.” He kissed the top of Lotor’s head, then eased him into lying down on the cot, so that the doctors could start attaching their equipment.

Lotor reached out before Sendak got very far, so Sendak let him hold his hand. “Stay,” Lotor whispered, squeezing Sendak’s hand as hard as he could. It had to hurt -one of his fingers on that hand was obviously broken -but Lotor didn’t seem to care. It was probably nothing, compared to all the other injuries he had. “Stay.”

“I’m right here,” Sendak soothed, stroking what was left of Lotor’s hair with his free hand. “You’re going to be alright.”

One of the medics got the anesthetic drip started, and it began working almost immediately: Lotor’s eyes drooped closed, and before long, his breathing evened out, and the lines etched into his face from the pain smoothed out. 

He didn’t look  _ at peace _ , the way he sometimes did when he was sleeping, but Sendak would settle for him being pain-free, even if it was just temporary. This was merely the first step to recovery; there was a long road ahead, but Sendak would be with him every step of the way. 

Finally, even his death grip on Sendak’s hand relaxed, and Sendak pressed a kiss to his forehead before he    was ushered away so they could start prepping Lotor.

Sendak cornered the doctors who would actually be performing the operations. “If he doesn’t make it, you had better start running, because as soon as I find you, I will do everything to you that they did to him. Am I clear?”

“Yes, sir,” they said, shrinking back a little. 

“ _ Good _ .” 

* * *

The head medic came to inform him that the first of the three planned surgeries had been completed, and that Lotor had been moved into a healing pod for the time being.

“There will likely be major scarring on his back,” she said. “Infection had set in, and we had to remove a good deal of tissue. The knee replacement went well, though, so he should eventually regain full ability there. And also- Sir… We debated whether or not to tell you, but…”

“What?” Sendak asked, trying to calm himself. Lotor was fine. He was out of surgery and in a healing pod. He was fine. 

“We found evidence of...sexual trauma while we were operating,” she said quietly. “Samples were taken and sent out, but-“

“ _ Who did it _ ,” Sendak demanded. 

She wordlessly handed him a printout and left. 

He wanted to go and do something very stupid, but. For now, he didn’t have the authority to do it. That would change tomorrow, after the Kral Zera, because he would win, and then-  _ Then _ he could destroy them all.


	3. Chapter 3

Waking up was like… floating around in zero-gravity, aimlessly bumping into things, and then the gravity kicked back on, slamming him directly into the floor.

It didn’t hurt, though. 

He didn’t really feel much of anything, actually. Like he was still floating, and that was nice. 

He was tempted to drift off again, except that someone was talking to him, and gently cradling his cheek in one hand, and that...that was even nicer. 

His eyelids felt heavy, and it took some time for him to actually get his eyes open, but he did, finally, and-

“...Sendak?” Lotor whispered, not quite believing his eyes. 

“Yes, my love. How are you feeling?”

“Tired. Wanna...wanna go back to sleep.”

“In a few minutes.” Sendak leaned down to kiss his forehead.

He couldn’t remember why he was so surprised to see Sendak here, but he didn’t have the energy to question it right now. 

There was someone else in the room, and they were speaking to Sendak, and their words just kind of flowed over Lotor, completely meaningless. It didn’t matter; Sendak kept rubbing his thumb over Lotor’s cheek.

Finally, Sendak turned back to him. “Alright, stay awake for me for a few more minutes.”

“Tired,” Lotor whined in protest. 

“I’m going to take you somewhere else,” Sendak said. “I don’t want you to wake up in a strange place with no memory of how you got there.”

That...made sense. Lotor huffed. 

Sendak stroked his cheek for another moment, and Lotor couldn’t help but press into it. 

He whined again when Sendak pulled his hand away, but then Sendak was picking him up -so carefully, so gently -and that was even better. He was safe here, in Sendak’s arms. His limbs were too heavy to move, but he managed to press his cheek against Sendak’s throat, so he could inhale his unique scent, so he knew that this was real. “Love you,” Lotor murmured. 

“I love you, too, Lotor,” Sendak said. 

He couldn’t help dozing off a little as Sendak carried him somewhere, but that was alright; he trusted Sendak. Sendak would take care of him. 

He woke up a little when Sendak set him down in a bed -the softest, most comfortable bed Lotor had ever been in -and tucked him in.

“Rest now,” Sendak murmured, pressing another kiss to Lotor’s forehead. 

“Will you be here when I wake up?” 

“Yes,” Sendak promised. “Of course.” 

With that, Lotor allowed himself to close his eyes and drift off, not yet knowing what was happening, exactly, but trusting that Sendak would keep him safe while he slept.

* * *

He half-woke several times, thrown from sleep by searing, bone-deep pain that left him sobbing and gasping for air, unable to think, unable to do more than wish for it to end.

Sendak was by his side every single time, holding him while he shook, propping him up and making him drink something bitter and sweet, stroking his hair and whispering soothing nothings until he fell back into blessed, painless oblivion. 

* * *

Lotor struggled awake only to realize that he was in someone’s clutches, and he didn’t know who, and he didn’t know where he was, and he didn’t know- 

Anything, really, about his situation.

So he fought, snarling and kicking and scratching as much as he was able.

The arm around his waist tightened a little. “Hey, Lotor, Lotor, listen to me-“

Lotor hissed, trying to twist so that he could sink his fangs into something, so that they would let him go, so that he could get away-

“Lotor, my love, you’re going to hurt yourself. Look at me.”

The voice was familiar. He knew it. He stilled, breathing heavily, mind racing, trying to figure out-

“Do you know where you are right now?”

Lotor shook his head. He didn’t. He could look at things, but he didn’t really  _ see _ them, and he couldn’t make sense of his surroundings, and he- 

“Do you remember what happened?”

He did, parts of it, anyway, but he didn’t want to think about it. He nodded slowly, hesitantly.

“Alright. Take a deep breath. You’re alright, you’re safe here.”

Lotor did: inhale, hold it, exhale. He did it again, and again, and again, until his heart no longer felt like it was going to punch its way out of his chest.

“Good, just like that.”

Lotor cautiously look around. He was in a bed -a very nice, very big one -with the drapes tied back. Beyond that, there was a large room, comfortably dim. Not a room he recognized.

Finally, he turned to the person still holding him. 

Sendak, of course. Sendak, who wasn’t dead, or MIA, or- 

_ Sendak was alive, and right here.  _

Lotor embraced him with such ferocity that it knocked them both back into the sheets, sobbing hysterically, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, because Sendak was here, and he was alright, and everything was going to be alright now. 

Sendak was crying, too, not as loudly, but Lotor knew. He knew Sendak better than he knew himself, sometimes, and it was easier to deal with Sendak’s pain than his own. 

By the time they cried themselves out, Lotor was exhausted, but it wasn’t the kind of exhaustion that sleep could fix. He was happy enough staying in Sendak’s embrace, though, especially once Sendak began purring for him.

It...helped. A lot. Sendak was always so good to him. 

“What happened?” Lotor asked finally. “Is my father-?”

“He’s dead,” Sendak said. “I killed him. He won’t hurt you again.” 

Some of the tension Lotor still felt uncoiled then, making it that much easier to breathe. At least he didn’t have to worry about that anymore. 

“I- I was captured during a fight with Voltron,” Sendak continued. “I don’t know exactly what happened, but I ended up in a cryopod that had been ejected from the Castle of Lions. The witch found me, and I came back here, and I- I did what I had to do, Lotor.”

“You saved me,” Lotor said, tucking himself further under Sendak’s chin.

“I should have done more,” Sendak said firmly. “I should have- I should have been there, and prevented all of it from happening in the first place.”

Lotor shook his head. “Sendak, it’s not your fault.”

“It is,” Sendak insisted. “I swore that I would protect you, and I  _ failed _ . But I will not fail again.”

“Sendak-“

“It’s been several weeks,” Sendak said. “You’ve had three separate surgeries, and spent two weeks in a healing pod. In that time, I became the Emperor. So I can protect you, and I will.”

Lotor blinked, looking up at Sendak. (Sendak looked exhausted, too, like maybe he hadn’t slept at all in that time, and perhaps he hadn’t.) “Oh. I’m proud of you, my darling.”

“It should have been you,” Sendak said. “But you were in no shape to participate in the Kral Zera.”

“No,” Lotor agreed quietly. Not after the torture he’d endured. 

“Are you hungry?” Sendak asked. “You should eat.”

Lotor shook his head. “Just tired.”

“Why don’t you eat something anyway, and then we’ll sleep. It’s the middle of the night.”

“Alright,” Lotor agreed. It would make Sendak happy, and he needed to build his strength back up anyway. 

They both had bowls of hearty broth, and Lotor had a glass of water laced with pain medication, while Sendak fussed over him. 

It was nice, like he could almost pretend that things were the way they had been before, back when he was still in exile. When it was just the two of them. 

Between the meal, the medications, and Sendak’s embrace, he fell asleep almost immediately.

* * *

“The doctors are putting you on bedrest for the next week,” Sendak informed him the next morning. 

Every single part of his body hurt, so that wasn’t exactly surprising. 

“Alright,” Lotor agreed. He was still tired, too, physically and emotionally, and he just wanted to rest. 

Sendak paused; he’d clearly expected Lotor to argue, but… He was just too tired.

And the idea of leaving the Suite filled him with anxiety anyway. He was safe  _ here _ , but out there was another matter entirely. 

There was concern in Sendak’s eyes, though, as he brushed Lotor’s hair back from his face. It was too short for him to throw over his shoulders, and it kept getting in his face, and he hated it-

“I’ll be in and out all day,” Sendak said, “but if you need anything, let me know, alright?”

“You’re going to drop everything and come running when I call?” Lotor teased.

Sendak was too serious when he answered. “Yes.”

“Sendak-“

“You are more important to me than anything else in this fucking universe,” Sendak said firmly. “Don’t ever forget that, Lotor.”

“You have other duties now. You- you’re the Emperor! You can’t just drop everything so you can-“

“So I can take care of my husband? I can, and I will. Don’t worry about it; I’ve got it under control.” He leaned down and kissed Lotor. “Just focus on recovering, alright? You’ve been through enough.” 

Lotor nodded hesitantly. “Alright. I will. But I’m probably just going to sleep for most of the day.”

“That’s for the best,” Sendak said. He kissed Lotor again. “I love you, Lotor. I- I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“I’m here,” Lotor murmured. “You saved me.”

Sendak took a deep breath and nodded. “Rest now, my love. Regain your strength, so you can rule by my side.”

“I love you,” Lotor said. 

* * *

He spent a lot of time asleep over the next few days, waking mostly to eat and relieve himself, and to greet Sendak when he returned from his duties. The physical pain was mostly mitigated by medication, but emotionally… He was just numb.

He wanted to believe that this was real, that nothing else would happen to him, but- It had never turned out that way before, had it? 

The witch hadn’t been dealt with yet, and until she was dead, she was a danger. 

And… There were others, too. Others who had hurt him, who could hurt him. Who had threatened to hurt him. 

And there were those who had taken something he’d chosen to give to Sendak alone for centuries, and they had- He couldn’t escape their hands, not in his dreams, not when he tried to think of literally anything else.

He didn’t know if Sendak knew. He didn’t want to tell Sendak. They’d been together for such a long time, and Sendak loved him so much, that Sendak wouldn’t- He wouldn’t leave. But. 

After the first few days, he grew restless. He was still on bedrest, but Sendak had left him a tablet. 

Lotor aimlessly flipped through the books that were on it, leafed through reports, tried to draw… 

It was difficult; the bones of his right hand were still healing, and therefore still immobilized with thick bandages, and he couldn’t draw with his left hand.

He could, however, write, if not very neatly, so…

He put together a list. 

A list of everyone who had hurt him over the years, stretching as far back as he could remember. 

It was a long list, and it took him nearly three days to complete, to the best of his ability. He hadn’t known all of them, didn’t know their names, couldn’t remember their faces. And some of it had happened so long ago he was sure he was leaving incidences out. 

But. He got the worst of it. 

Just writing it all down settled him somewhat. Going through it and crossing out the ones who were dead -either by his hand or someone else’s -relieved him further. Many of them were dead, after all; ten thousand years was a long time to avoid being killed.

But he’d made it, and they hadn’t, and they would never hurt him again. 

He was absorbed in his list when Sendak returned for the evening, enough that he didn’t notice Sendak until he spoke up.

”Lotor?”

Lotor flinched. “Oh. Sendak.”

“I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“I’m fine,” Lotor said. 

Sendak bent to kiss the top of his head. “What are you working on so intently?”

“A list,” Lotor said quietly. “Of those who have… wronged me, in some way.” He didn’t intentionally keep secrets from Sendak, although he hadn’t mentioned most of the abuse to Sendak. There had been other things he’d wanted to focus on, when they were together before, and it had never seemed important then.

But it had culminated in this. 

He handed the list to Sendak, who scanned it grimly. “Lotor,” he said finally.

Lotor played with a fold in the sheets, not wanting to look at Sendak right now. 

“What do you want to do about this?” Sendak asked.

“I don’t know,” Lotor said. “I- I needed to get it out, so I made it, but- I -I don’t want to be hurt anymore. I’m tired, Sendak.”

“I know.” Sendak pulled him into his lap, mindful as always about his various injuries. “I know, my love.” He held Lotor for several minutes, and if only they could stay like this forever…

”Lotor, just so you know, I had Throk executed, as well as some of his...cronies.”

Lotor bit back his panic. Sendak had to know. Surely. “Why?” He whispered.

“The medics found...evidence,” Sendak said quietly, angrily. Not at Lotor, though. “I couldn’t let him live after that.”

“How- how did you-?” Morbid curiosity led him to ask, although he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to know. He was grateful that, at the very least, he would never have to see the men who had-

“Impaled,” Sendak said simply. “And left to die.”

A cruel method of execution, but probably better than they deserved; that first time hadn’t been the only time. But they were dead. They had died in agony and they could never even touch him again. 

Lotor took a deep, shuddery breath, and before he knew it, he was sobbing hard, and he didn’t know  _ why _ .  

Sendak held him, gently stroking his hair, and for some reason, that only made Lotor sob harder. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered finally. “I’m so sorry, Sendak, I’m sorry. I couldn’t- I told them to stop but they wouldn’t- I tried but it wasn’t  _ enough… _ ” 

Sendak sighed. “Oh, Lotor… You have nothing to be sorry for. I would never blame you for something like this. I’m just glad that you’re going to be alright.”

“Am I?”

Sendak kissed the top of his head. “Of course. And I’ll be by your side the entire time, with whatever you need. I know you’re used to doing things alone, but you don’t need to do this alone.”

Lotor tucked himself even further into Sendak’s embrace. He was just too sweet and understanding sometimes, so unlike everyone else in Lotor’s life. “You...you’re too good to me.”

“I love you, Lotor. What happened to you doesn’t change that.  _ Nothing _ will.” 

Lotor pressed their foreheads together. “I love you, too, Sendak. Thank you.”

“You have nothing to thank me for,” Sendak said. “You know I’ll take care of you, no matter what.”

Lotor nodded, fresh tears surfacing. It all could have ended so differently, and then he wouldn’t be here now. He’d be dead or worse, if it wasn’t for Sendak, and he never would have gotten to have this… He hugged Sendak tighter, never wanting to let go again. 

 

 

(For reference, here’s the  [ wiki article ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impalement) on what Sendak did to Throk+Crew)


	4. Chapter 4

Lotor was getting better, slowly -too slowly for Sendak’s peace of mind, but he knew that the doctors were impressed by the speed of his recovery - but he was acting more and more like his old self with each passing day. 

That was good. He couldn’t stay cooped up in the Imperial Suite forever. 

He was still a little too cooperative with the medical staff for Sendak’s comfort -docility meant pain and severe illness, as far as Galra (and especially Lotor) were concerned -but they were just trying to help, and ultimately… It was working.

Lotor studied the brace on his right leg. He’d just been fitted with it; he wouldn’t be able to support his own weight on that side for some time, due to the extent of his injuries as well as the implant. That fact alone had kept him bedbound for the past week, but now… 

“This crossbar would be more efficient if it connected here, rather than here,” Lotor told the doctor, indicating the placements by pointing to various locations on the brace.

”It is in that position to allow this muscle, here, to strengthen, not for efficiency, Sir.”

Lotor narrowed his eyes; he hated inefficient things, but he appeared at least somewhat mollified by the explanation. 

“If there’s nothing else,” Sendak said.

The doctor bowed and left. 

“Are you going to keep an eye on me?” Lotor huffed.

“Yes.”

“I’m not a- a child! I can take care of myself.”

“I’m aware,” Sendak said evenly. Lotor hated making concessions like this -he hadn’t wanted the brace at all, until Sendak convinced him that it would help him recover faster -because he hated admitting his own weaknesses; it wouldn’t do any good if Sendak allowed himself to get worked up over it, too. 

“I can fucking walk across the room on my own two feet!” Lotor yelled. 

Sendak held his hands up, a gesture of supplication. If he couldn’t, he needed to know that for himself, not have someone tell him. He didn’t listen to other people about his limitations, which was a good thing most of the time. Just not now. 

So he stayed put on the other side of the room, as much as he wanted to be by Lotor’s side for this. Lotor didn’t want help, and making him accept help would only cause more problems. 

Lotor swung his legs over the side of the bed, determination etched into every line of his body. Sendak admired that about Lotor -that he still refused to be defeated, no matter what. He just wished Lotor didn’t feel the need to prove himself to Sendak, because he didn’t. Not anymore. 

Lotor pulled himself upright using the bedpost. He was, technically, standing on both feet, although he listed heavily to the left. He wasn’t sure, then. Not entirely. 

But he hadn’t kicked Sendak out, as he might have done with anyone else. Only Sendak was allowed to see him like this, because he trusted that Sendak would never take advantage of his weaknesses, would never use them against him. 

He took a cautious step forward with his right foot.

When he went to take the next step, though, his leg almost buckled under him, even with the brace’s support. He caught himself before Sendak could do more than tense, holding his hands out for balance. 

The determined glare was still firmly in place. 

Sendak had seen footage from battles Lotor had fought in, read reports, heard rumors, listened to Lotor’s own accounts, and despite the scale of those things… This was his greatest victory. Managing to stay determined and strong and hopeful, despite  _ everything _ . 

Lotor righted himself and took another step -nothing had ever stopped him, certainly not the limitations of his own body - and while it took a few minutes, he made it across the room. With a heavy limp, sure, but-

Sendak picked him up and kissed him, because- he needed to, didn’t know how else to express to Lotor the depth of his pride in him. “You’re incredible,” he murmured, when he pulled away just enough to let Lotor breathe. “I love you. I love you so much-“

Lotor just clung to him, trembling slightly. “It’s- it’s nothing. I walked across a room; it’s nothing I have done hundreds- thousands! -of times before.”

“It’s not about that,” Sendak said. “You- you’ve never let anything stop you before, and you’re not about to start now. I don’t know how you keep doing it, but- I love you, and I’m in  _ awe _ of you. If I were even half as great as you are-“

“ _ Sendak _ ,” Lotor breathed. He pressed his forehead against Sendak’s shoulder, holding him tighter. “I’m  _ not _ . I’m just- I’m trying to survive in a universe where everyone wants me dead.”

”Not everyone,” Sendak reminded him gently, nuzzling the top of his head. “How does your leg feel?”

Lotor hesitated. “It’s...sore.”

“Do you want to try to go back?”

Lotor shook his head.

“Alright, my love.” He kissed the top of Lotor’s head, and then his forehead, the tip of his nose, both cheeks… “No one’s expecting you to get better all at once. It takes time, and that’s alright.”

Lotor nodded, but didn’t say anything else. And that was alright, too; he was still coming to terms with all of this, and it was… a lot. Lotor had never been good with actually talking about things, but fortunately Sendak had been with him long enough that they didn’t always need to talk for him to know what Lotor needed. 

He carried Lotor back to bed, and held him for a while, until Lotor inevitably dozed off. 

* * *

Lotor was tense, despite his relaxed position on the bed, with his head pillowed on his folded arms, face-down, and shirtless. 

This was part of their daily routine now, twice-daily applications of a healing salve carefully massaged into the fresh scars on Lotor’s back. 

Sendak hated the sight. Hated the constant reminder that he hadn’t been able to protect Lotor. Hadn’t saved him _ in time _ , to prevent all of it. 

Lotor had a hard time accepting even Sendak’s help, but he couldn’t reach his own back, and the salve would help the scars heal without impeding Lotor’s flexibility and range-of-motion. 

And Sendak knew he secretly enjoyed it anyway; he usually fell asleep during the evening sessions.

Lotor flinched a little at Sendak’s first touch to his back, but even so, the tension in his shoulders slowly melted away as Sendak massaged the salve in carefully, gently, thoroughly. Maybe he hadn’t been able to prevent this from happening to Lotor, but he could do this. He could care for him, no matter what. 

Lotor was completely relaxed by the time Sendak finished, and wasn’t startled when Sendak’s comms went off.

Sendak checked it, and smiled. “I’ll be right back, my love. I have a surprise for you.”

”Mm?” 

He kissed the back of Lotor’s neck. “You’ll like it, I promise.”

He collected the crate from an officer who had been waiting outside the Suite and returned as swiftly as he could. 

“Lotor, my love,” he said, setting the crate on the bed, and opening the door.

“What-?” Lotor began to ask, pushing himself into a sitting position, but then his eyes widened. “ _ Kova _ !” 

Kova had escaped the crate as soon as Sendak opened the door, and launched himself at Lotor, purring and meowing loudly.

“How- Where-? I thought…” Lotor hugged Kova tightly, and Kova licked his face, where tears were beginning to fall. “I didn’t think he’d still be…”

“The witch had your old facilities searched. One of the members of one of the search teams used to be on my crew, and long story short… I knew you’d want him back.”

“Thank you,” Lotor whispered through his tears. “Thank you,  _ thank you _ …” 

Sendak sat next to him and pulled him close. “Shh… You don’t have to thank me for anything, my love.” He held Lotor until well after he finished crying, and Kova stayed put as well, purring and butting Lotor gently with his head.

He was glad that Kova had been found alive and well. He was Lotor’s oldest and most loyal companion, his first real friend, and Sendak knew he would have been heartbroken if he’d truly been lost.

But Kova was alright, and Lotor would be, too. 

 

* * *

It would be, perhaps,  _ years _ before Lotor was completely recovered, both physically and emotionally, but he was making good progress, and having Kova back only helped. 

Because he was getting better, it was time to make a few decisions, regarding how they would proceed from here. Lotor couldn’t stay cooped up here forever. 

He knew Lotor was still at least somewhat preoccupied with his list, and frankly… so was Sendak. He didn’t know what most of the people on the list had done to earn a place there, and he hated that. Hated that Lotor hadn’t thought it was important enough to bring up during their meager hours together, before all of this. Hated that he hadn’t been able to do anything about it then.

But he could  _ now _ .

He had Lotor in his lap, meditatively stroking Kova’s back.

“I’ve been thinking,” Lotor said softly. 

“About what?” 

“A little bit of everything,” Lotor said. “I didn’t plan for this.” He was quiet for a few minutes, and Sendak let him take his time. “I am not a...vengeful man,” he said finally.

“No,” Sendak agreed cautiously. Lotor had every reason to be; his life had been largely a series of abuses. He just...wasn’t. 

“But I think… maybe something has...changed,” Lotor said. “I don’t want to see anyone suffer, exactly, but I do want to see them get what they deserve. I want them to pay for all of it. I’m- tired. I want everyone to know that they can’t do-  _ this _ to me anymore.”

“I can make that happen,” Sendak said. That was what he wanted (although he wouldn’t mind if people suffered a little for what they did to Lotor). 

“It’s not- I shouldn’t want that,” Lotor said. “I should just...move on, and be  _ better _ , and-“

“Lotor,” Sendak said firmly, “if that’s what you want, then I’ll do it. As long as you’re happy and safe, I don’t care.”

”It’s not  _ right _ !” Lotor protested, anguished. 

Sendak held Lotor a little tighter for a moment. “If no one ever learns that there are consequences for hurting you, don’t you think they’ll just continue?”

Lotor froze. “ _ Sendak… _ ” 

“You don’t need to be involved, if you don’t want to be. But it’s not just you and your honor under assault. You haven’t truly been on your own for a long time now, Lotor. Let me help you.”

Lotor turned a little and rested his head against Sendak’s chest. Sendak kissed the top of his head. “Will you think I’m a monster for this?”

“No, never. I love you, Lotor. I love you so much, and I don’t want to see you hurt again.”

“I love you, too.”

He didn’t say anything for a long time, and Sendak held him, reveling in the fact that he  _ could _ hold Lotor. That they weren’t galaxies away from each other. 

Very quietly, so quietly that Sendak barely heard, he finally said, “Destroy them, Sendak.” 


	5. Chapter 5

Lotor carefully hauled himself out of the hot bath he’d taken. He’d never had luxury like this before, but Sendak was the Emperor now, and had the right to the Imperial Suite and all the luxuries that came with it. 

He could grow used to this. 

He toweled himself dry and hobbled over to the full length mirror. He was recovering far faster than the doctors had predicted, and could go without the brace for short periods of time, if he was careful. 

This was the first time he’d taken a real bath since Before, and it had felt incredibly good. Sponge baths were all well and good for the sake of hygiene, when necessary, but it wasn’t the same. 

But now that all the stitches had dissolved, he could have as many baths as he wanted. 

Kova hadn’t approved, staring over the lip of the tub in concern the whole time, but Kova had always been protective of him, and hadn’t left his side since Sendak had brought him back. 

This was also the first time he’d had the chance to really look at himself since Before. 

He wasn’t unaware of how he must look, but he hadn’t been confronted with the reality of it until now. 

And… 

He looked like he’d been through hell and back, and he had. 

He hadn’t been meant to survive any of it, but he had. 

He had.

The ragged ends of his hair didn’t reach his shoulders, so it was always in his face, framing it in a way that made him look much younger, and it was strange, that he should look young when he felt so old. 

Dozens of new, vibrantly pink scars littered his skin, a heavy contrast to all his old scars, which had faded to white over the years. Much like those scars, he’d have to carry these new marks for...possibly the rest of his life, constant reminders of all of it. 

The bone-deep aches were harder to ignore. The memory of hands on him, harder still. 

He turned away from the mirror. They would all die, if they weren’t dead already, and the only person who would touch him from now on was Sendak, and that was as it should be. Sendak had never hurt him, and had never even thought of hurting him; Lotor wouldn’t have married him if he didn’t trust him absolutely. 

He dressed slowly, careful to avoid aggravating his knee, then fastened the brace securely. Even that took a lot of energy, and it was all he could do to limp back to bed.

He couldn’t fight like this. Couldn’t defend himself, if he needed to, and that put him in the position of needing to trust Sendak absolutely. Trust that nothing would happen to him, and…

He couldn’t be sure about that, could he? 

The Paladins hadn’t managed to kill him, but they had taken him out of the game for months, and if they crossed paths again…

He couldn’t leave it to chance. 

Kova settled on the pillow next to his head, purring, and Lotor gave his chin a scratch. 

At least he still had Kova, and Sendak’s love. He didn’t think he could have survived if Sendak had rejected him after all of this.  

But Sendak hadn’t; he was still here, and he was doing so much to make sure Lotor was safe and comfortable. 

“I never thought someone could have such bad luck and good fortune at the same time,” he told Kova. 

Kova blinked slowly at him.

“Will you help me plan, Kova? You were always good at that.” Lotor had been bouncing ideas off him since the beginning; he’d found it helpful to talk to someone, even if Kova (probably) couldn’t understand him. 

Kova mewed in agreement.

* * *

Sendak was, surprisingly, all for it. 

Lotor had expected an argument, and had even planned for the three weeks he’d assumed he’d need to convince Sendak to let him go through with it.

Now, he had Sendak’s full support  _ and _ he was three weeks ahead of schedule, which never happened. 

“Not that I won’t worry about you,” Sendak said, “because I will, the whole time you’re gone, but I am…  _ proud _ of you, for standing up for yourself. For not allowing them to get away with what they did to you.”

“ _ They _ didn’t do anything to me,” Lotor said. “But my father is already dead, and it’ll be easier for me to deal with the paladins.”

“They allowed all of this to happen,” Sendak said, very seriously, very quietly, his anger barely contained. He ran his hand down Lotor’s back, to illustrate his point. “They could have protected you. Instead-“

“Yes, I know,” Lotor said. “I know. But… It’s not quite the same. Still, they will pay for it. They will.” 

“Yes,” Sendak agreed. “You’ll make them pay.”

And… He didn’t doubt Lotor’s ability, even when Lotor did. That faith meant so much. 

Lotor leaned up to kiss him. “Thank you for everything. For having faith in me. I couldn’t have-“

Sendak stroked his cheek. “You could have. You’re very stubborn, my love.”

Lotor kissed him again. “I have to be,” he said. 

Sendak sighed. “I know.” He pulled Lotor a little bit closer; he wanted so much physical contact these days, but Lotor didn’t mind. Not remotely. “It’s served you well, over the years, but we made it.”

“Yes, Sire,” Lotor teased. 

Sendak growled playfully. His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, and Lotor knew what he was thinking - _ it should have been Lotor, the throne isn’t mine, I’m only here because Lotor couldn’t be  _ -but they had talked enough about that over these last few weeks. Sendak was the Emperor, and when the time was right, Lotor would become his Prince Consort, and that a perfectly acceptable outcome, as far as Lotor was concerned.

“It’s late,” Sendak said, “and I have that early meeting tomorrow. Do you need anything else tonight?” 

Lotor nestled down against Sendak’s side, safe and warm and comfortable. Kova had curled up by his feet, and was already asleep. There was nothing else Lotor needed. “No,” he said. “This is enough.”

“I love you,” Sendak said.

“I love you, too.”

* * *

During his time on the Altean Castle-ship, Lotor had mined their systems for information just as much as they had mined him. It was only fair, and frankly, that’s what they got for not searching him more thoroughly. So he had everything he needed and more.

His program had also managed to worm its way into the Blade of Marmora’s systems, during the few times they had contacted the Castle, and that-  _ that _ was a veritable gold-mine. Much of the information on the Castle was ten thousand years out of date, but the Blade’s systems…

He handed that information off to Sendak, too. He didn’t care anymore if they all burned. What good had they done? What good could they do now? Their pride and their alliance with Voltron prevented them from bowing before their true Emperor, and if they would not kneel, then they could fall. 

Anyway, the witch and her Druids could busy themselves hunting down the Blades, and if they were lucky, both groups would destroy each other. 

The ecology of Daibazaal relied heavily on yearly wildfires, to burn away the dead and dying, to bring forth newer and stronger life from the ashes. Was this not the same?

Sendak would oversee this purification, and Lotor would be by his side. And all that had been wrong with his father’s reign, all the failures of the paladins (past  _ and _ present) and their coalition, all the injustices and cruelties and abuses would burn away into nothing.


	6. Chapter 6

Sendak had been very careful in his handling of the whole matter. He hadn’t really wanted anyone to know where Lotor was, especially while he was incapacitated and unable to defend himself, so other than the doctors -who knew to keep their mouths shut -and Hepta… No one knew. 

Now, of course, Lotor had plans, and those plans required a little bit of subterfuge, a misrepresentation of the way things were. But this was a war, and wars were fought not with troops and ships, but with deceits. 

In his younger and more honorable days, perhaps this might have bothered him, but he was older, more experienced, more willing to do what it took to keep Lotor  _ safe _ . And as long as he honored the vows he made to Lotor, nothing else really mattered. 

He snuck another glance at Lotor, who was watching the executions taking place below without a trace of feeling.

In the privacy of the Imperial Box, he was able to sit next to Sendak, rather than stand behind him or kneel at his feet. He couldn’t kneel anyway, or stand for long periods of time; not yet, and maybe never again.

That didn’t matter to Sendak, either. He’d take care of Lotor, no matter what it took. 

The sands of the arena below were saturated with blood, so that the scent was thick even up here in the box. Sendak didn’t know what these people had done to Lotor, but that didn’t matter either. He trusted Lotor, and if Lotor said that these people had hurt him, then it was Sendak’s duty to make sure they never did again. 

Simple as that. 

Finally, it was over -for today - and Lotor sighed. 

“What’s wrong?” Sendak asked. 

Lotor shook his head, still staring out at the sands. “Just...thinking.”

Sendak pulled him close with an arm around his shoulders and kissed the top of his head. 

“I… It doesn’t feel... _ good _ ,” Lotor said finally. “I thought I would feel happy, or relieved, or… But I don’t.”

”What do you feel?” Sendak asked.

“Tired, mostly,” Lotor said, resting his head on Sendak’s shoulder. “I just thought it would be different.”

“I know,” Sendak said. “But it’s over for now, so let me take you back to our quarters, alright?”

Lotor nodded, and Sendak helped him stand. He didn’t  _ need _ help, but he was tired enough that he didn’t refuse it. 

Sendak bent down to kiss him. Lotor melted into it, an edge of desperation present that hadn’t been there before. 

It broke Sendak’s heart, how Lotor needed constant reassurance. Not because Sendak minded giving it to him, but because so much had happened in his life that had taught him to distrust all kindness and happiness. That he couldn’t keep this, that it wouldn’t last.

It would. Sendak would see to it, no matter what it took. 

* * *

Lotor emerged from the bathroom not wearing very much at all, his hair still slightly damp from his shower, and immediately crossed the room to settle into Sendak’s lap.

Sendak kissed his forehead and set his tablet aside. “Ready for bed, my love?”

”No,” Lotor said softly, with just the hint of a seductive grin. “Not just yet.” He rolled his hips just so, balancing himself with his hands on Sendak’s shoulders.

“ _ Lotor… _ ” Sendak breathed. He wasn’t sure this was a good idea; they hadn’t had sex in over a year, and things had changed since then. Drastically. “Maybe we should wait…”

“Don’t you want me?” Lotor asked playfully, but Sendak knew him well enough to identify the doubt in his eyes.

”Of course I do,” Sendak said, tracing Lotor’s cheekbone with one hand. “ _ Never _ doubt that. But I don’t want to- to hurt you.” 

Lotor turned enough to kiss Sendak’s palm. “You won’t. You never have, and I trust you.” 

It always meant so much coming from Lotor. Sendak kissed him gently, nearly chastely.

Lotor smiled sadly when he pulled away. “I don’t know if what I have planned will succeed. No plan of action survives first contact with the enemy.  _ You _ taught me that. And I want to spend the time we have now with you, because I don’t know if we’ll get more.”

“We will,” Sendak insisted. “Everything is going to work out just as you have planned.”

“You don’t know that,” Lotor said. He pressed his forehead against Sendak’s. “Please, Sendak. I- I want to forget what their hands felt like when they touched me, what it felt like when…” 

Lotor had not spoken about it once, after Sendak had told him that Throk was dead; Sendak hadn’t pressed. “Oh,  _ Lotor… _ ” 

“I don’t want your pity!” He took a deep breath. “I want things to be the way they were. They took so fucking much from me; I’m not letting them take this too.” 

“Alright,” Sendak soothed. He held Lotor close for a moment, nuzzling the top of Lotor’s head. “Alright. What- how do you want it?”

”I just want you,” Lotor said. “Nothing else matters, as long as it’s you.”

Sendak rubbed his back, in that way that always got Lotor to relax, even if just a little. The robe Lotor wore was thin enough that Sendak could feel the raised edges of his scars, as well as the heat of his body. 

“I love you,” Sendak said. “Nothing will ever change that. You know that, right?”

Lotor nodded. “I love you, too, Sendak.” He pressed their lips together in a slow, deliberate kiss, intended to reassure as much as rile up. Sendak used the opportunity to slip Lotor’s robe off his shoulders. 

Carefully, Sendak flipped them over, so that Lotor was on his back, looking up at Sendak. “Is that alright?”

“You don’t have to be so careful,” Lotor said, not quite sadly. 

“I know,” Sendak said. He sat back enough to study Lotor, something Lotor hadn’t allowed at all during his recovery, while his disrobed himself. 

Perhaps he was ashamed of the scars, the injuries, his own perceived weakness. 

Sendak thought he was still as beautiful as ever, which was not to say that he hadn’t changed. Just… It didn’t matter. Yes, he had scars; so did Sendak. Yes, he had lost some muscle mass, and yes, he was a little thinner than he had been. His hair, of course, had been cropped, and even now, there was dark bruises littering his skin.

That didn’t mean that Sendak didn’t find him just as beautiful as ever. It didn’t mean he was no longer attracted to him.

Lotor squirmed under Sendak’s gaze. “Are you just going to  _ look _ ?” He huffed, irritated because it was easier than admitting that he was self-conscious.

Sendak kissed him. Honestly, if Lotor had never wanted to have sex again, and if this was as far as he wanted to go, then Sendak would have been fine with that. This was enough: having his husband underneath him, touching him, and having Lotor cling to him, clutching anything he could reach because he couldn't get enough. 

What else did one need in life? 

Sendak made his way down Lotor’s body, taking time to lavish each new scar with attention, as if he could cancel them out with his love. He pressed kisses to random places, as well: the notch of Lotor’s collarbones, the edge of his ribs, the crest of one hip, the inside of one knee. 

Lotor accepted all of it with grace, somehow sensing that Sendak didn’t want to be rushed. That he wanted to take his time, enjoy what was rightfully his, because Lotor gave him this gift freely. 

Sendak finally reached for the lube and slicked up the fingers of his flesh hand. “Let me know if you need to stop, or slow down, or anything,” he said earnestly. Lotor did occasionally enjoy it a little rougher, but tonight… Tonight Sendak wanted him to feel nothing but pleasure. 

Lotor nodded slowly. “I will,” he whispered hoarsely. 

Sendak kissed the little indent under his navel and pressed a finger to Lotor’s entrance. 

Lotor’s breath hitched, and he bit his lip, probably to keep himself quiet. His hips jerked back, pressing against Sendak’s finger; Sendak gave him what he wanted, gently stretching him with one finger while he mouthed at Lotor’s neck.

“More, more, Sendak, please,” Lotor begged, and Sendak teased him just a moment longer before adding a second finger. 

Lotor had never been particularly good at keeping his hands to himself during sex. He buried one hand in the thick fur at the back of Sendak’s neck, with the other clutching at Sendak’s back, pulling him closer, keeping him in place.

As if Sendak was going anywhere right now. 

“I’m ready, I’m ready,” Lotor insisted after a few minutes, pressing back against Sendak’s hand as much as he could, panting and whining. 

“Are you sure?” Sendak asked cautiously. He wasn’t a  _ small _ man, in any regard, and it had been a while, and… 

Lotor stilled, meeting Sendak’s eyes. “Yes,” he said very softly, stroking Sendak’s cheek gently. “I am more ready than you could possibly know, my darling. Please…  _ Please _ , I need you.” 

Sendak kissed him, mostly because he liked kissing Lotor. “Alright,” he breathed. “Alright. I’m here, I’ve got you.” He guided one of Lotor’s legs -the uninjured one -up, opening Lotor up that much more, and Lotor hooked his leg over Sendak’s hip, keeping him close.

Not that he had anything to worry about; Sendak wasn’t going anywhere. 

He pressed in slowly, to give Lotor ample time to adjust, fighting his own urge to just sheathe himself entirely. 

Lotor clung to him, hiding his face against Sendak’s neck, stifling all the little noises he made.

Sendak held him, murmuring softly to him the whole time -all the things Lotor loved: gentle and genuine praises, soft declarations of love, reassurances and reminders -until Lotor started moving a little more insistently. 

“ _ Please _ ,” he begged, his words muffled but understandable.

“Shh…” Sendak soothed. “Have I ever failed to give you want you need?” 

Lotor shook his head, still hiding his face from Sendak. Sendak kissed the top of his head as he started moving, revelling in the slow, heavy drag of his cock inside Lotor.

Lotor loved it, too, abandoning words in favor of soft, airy moans. Still not nearly as loud as he usually was, but that was alright. Sendak knew Lotor well enough to know that he was enjoying it anyway. 

And… it wasn’t just about the sex, either. Sendak knew that. It was about renewing some integral part of their relationship -not the sex, but the trust, the devotion, the loyalty, the love. It was about making Lotor feel safe in his own body again, about him taking back his own agency.

It was about all the promises he’d made to Lotor over the years, and proving that he still meant every single one. 

There was no room for him to slip a hand between them, but that didn’t seem to matter; Lotor shuddered through his orgasm, and Sendak was right behind him. 

Lotor held onto him even as Sendak rolled onto his side, so he didn’t crush Lotor, still keeping his head tucked under Sendak’s chin, still shaking.

This didn’t  _ fix _ anything, but not everything could be fixed, and if this was what Lotor needed… 

“I love you,” Sendak said quietly. “I love you more than anything, and nothing anyone could ever do to you would change that. Do you understand?” 

Lotor nodded hesitantly, and then Sendak realized he was crying, very softly, trying to keep it from Sendak.

There was no need for that. “Lotor, baby, what’s wrong?”

Lotor shook his head. He still wouldn’t -or couldn’t -speak, so all Sendak could do for now was hold him, comfort him. Love him. 

Finally, Lotor reached up and kissed Sendak, slow and sweet, and pressed their foreheads together, gently caressing Sendak’s face and ears the way he liked.

Sendak started purring -he couldn’t help himself -and Lotor finally smiled. It was a small smile, sure, but it was  _ something _ . 

“You’re so predictable,” Lotor murmured. 

“Is that such a bad thing? With you, at least?”

“No,” Lotor admitted. 

“Are you alright, my love?”

Lotor sighed. “I’m...well enough.” He was quiet for a few more minutes, probably just listening to Sendak purr and enjoying the cuddling. 

“I don’t want to do it,” Lotor said finally. 

“I know,” Sendak said.

“But I need to do it. I can’t- Neither of us will ever be safe if I don’t, and I can’t take the risk that something might happen to you.”

“I know,” Sendak said again. “I know. But you’ll be back in a few days, at most, and then you’ll never need to leave my side again unless you want to.”

“Why would I leave the place where I am safest and happiest?” Lotor asked, a little sadly. “Unless I had no other option.”

Sendak kissed him again. “Let me get you cleaned up, and then we’ll go to bed, alright?”

Lotor nodded and allowed Sendak to wipe the tears and cum away, and then nestled back into Sendak’s arms when he laid down again.

“Lotor,” Sendak began, “will you wake me up before you go?”

“Why? So you can make one final attempt to convince me not to-“

“I have been supportive of this since the beginning,” Sendak reminded him gently, but firmly. “I just want to kiss you before you leave.”

“Oh,” Lotor said. “Alright.” He settled down, curling as close to Sendak as physically possible. “I love you, too.”

* * *

Sendak woke to Lotor shaking his shoulder slightly.

“What time is it?” He asked.

“Early,” Lotor said. “I wanted a decent head start.”

Sendak nodded, sat up, and pulled Lotor into his lap. 

“Sendak...” Lotor protested half-heartedly. 

“Shh… Just a moment,” Sendak said, nuzzling the top of Lotor’s head. “You have everything?”

“Yes,” Lotor said.

“If something goes wrong, activate the tracking beacon, alright? I’ll get you out of there no matter what. I promise.”

“Nothing will go wrong,” Lotor said. “That’s my promise to you. Everything will be alright. Don’t worry about me.”

“You know I can’t help it,” Sendak said. He tilted Lotor’s face up for a kiss. “Be careful.”

“I will be.”

Sendak kissed him again. “Go now, my love, or I fear I won’t be able to let you go at all.”

Lotor climbed to his feet, smiling softly in the darkness. “I love you, Sendak, my darling.”

“I love you, too, Lotor.” He resisted the urge to get up and embrace Lotor again, because he really would never let him leave if he did, so he just had to watch as Lotor left, vanishing into the night. 

The half-awake, middle-of-the-night setting lent the whole scene a dream-like quality, and some part of him hoped that Lotor would still be there in the morning when he woke up.


	7. Chapter 7

The signal led to a small fighter; scans revealed a single pilot.

Allura knew who it was, without knowing anything else.

She… Well, she’d never thought she’d see him again. (And after everything, she’d half-hoped she wouldn’t.)

Still, they couldn’t just leave him out here. They’d decided not to help him escape, but he’d made it this far on his own, so… 

They allowed the fighter into the hangar, then made a wormhole jump, far away from the Imperial flagship. Far away from any search parties.

If they came… Well, if the choice was between  _ him _ and her team, she knew what she’d do. A small price to pay, in all honesty. 

Once the wormhole closed behind them, the whole team went down to the hangar, just in case. They had no idea what state he’d be in, after all; they knew of the broadcasts, but they hadn’t watched them. They hadn’t needed to know, hadn’t needed to see it. They didn’t watch as Zarkon executed other traitors, and he was no different. 

The broadcasts had stopped when Zarkon died, and there had been nothing for weeks, until now. 

Every single bayard was pointed at the cockpit as she shouted, “Come out unarmed, with your hands up!”

The hatch opened slowly, and then Lotor appeared.

He looked awful. His most noticeable feature, his hair, had been cropped off raggedly, now not even touching his shoulders. A dark bruise stood out on one cheek, and he just looked...exhausted. 

Even after weeks in their containment cell, he hadn’t looked this awful, but that was to be expected, she supposed. Whatever he’d been through here certainly couldn’t have been nearly as bad as what he went through while in the hands of the Galra. 

“I’m unarmed,” he said quietly, like it was an effort to speak any louder. 

“Come down,” Allura ordered.

He did, climbing down slowly, awkwardly. There was a brace on one knee, and he had trouble bending and straightening it. 

He was...diminished, somehow, less than he had been. 

He turned to face them, subtly leaning back on the ship behind him for support. 

“How-?” Allura began to ask.

He smiled wryly. “I escaped. Sendak thought he could- Well, it doesn’t matter. He should have killed me when he had the chance.” He ran a hand through his hair -it kept falling in his face -and she noticed that some of his fingers didn’t straighten all the way.

“What did they do to you?” She whispered with horror.

His gaze sharpened. “What I told you they would,” he said. “Everything I said and more. The only reason I am not dead is that Sendak found a better use for me.”

“We- we didn’t know,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

He laughed, a sound like grating gears. “Of course you knew; I told you this would happen. You just didn’t want to  _ listen _ .” He slumped back a little, took a deep breath. Pinched the bridge of his nose. “Forgive me. I am- tired.”

“Do you need medical care?” She asked. 

He hesitated, then nodded. “Yes,” he whispered. “I think so.”

“Alright,” she said. “Follow me, then. Can you walk?”

He hesitated again. “I’ll manage.” 

She had to walk slowly, so he could keep up as he limped along. He probably shouldn’t be walking, but she wasn’t sure she could convince him to accept help. The other Paladins followed along, their bayards still half-raised, but Lotor wasn’t a threat. Not like this.

They made it to the infirmary eventually, and he sat down on one of the exam tables, slightly out-of-breath

He wasn’t in his armor -of course he wasn’t -but he wasn’t in a slave’s jumpsuit, either. Or, at least, not one like she’d seen before. 

It had a high collar, open in the front to the base of his throat. It was not skin-tight, but it fit him well (though he did seem thin under it). It was a dark purple, with gold accents on the collar and the cuffs.

He noticed her appraisal. “An honor,” he said bitterly. “First among slaves. For the Emperor’s personal use.” 

“Oh,” she said. And then, a moment later, when the understanding came to her. “ _ Oh _ . Oh, I’m so sorry-“

He shrugged, one eye twitching (perhaps in pain). “I escaped. I just need somewhere to rest overnight, perhaps, and then I’ll… I’ll be gone.”

“Where would you go?” She asked.

He blinked. “I… I don’t know yet. I’ll think of something. It need not concern you further, Princess.”

“Allura,” she corrected gently. She ran a few medical scans, and found a gash on Lotor’s forearm, about two inches long (the perfect size for removing a tracking device), and closed it without much ado. “Of course you can stay as long as you would like. We would not turn you away.” 

“Thank you,” he said quietly. “Thank you for everything.”

* * *

Lotor was given a room of his own. It didn’t feel right to put him back in a cell, after everything. He didn’t give details, of course, but the medical scans had revealed much of what he wasn’t saying, and…

He wasn’t a threat. He had nowhere else to go. No motivation to betray them. He seemed grateful, in fact, and Allura hoped that maybe now he’d forgiven them for their… actions.

Of course they hadn’t actually done anything wrong; they needed Sam Holt back, and there would have been no way for them to get back into Central Command to rescue Lotor. That would have been far too dangerous.

But they could give him sanctuary here, now that he’d escaped, and surely, if he had been in Sendak’s company these last few weeks, then he had more information that could help them. 

She knocked on his door, carrying a tray of food in one hand. He would need to eat, in order to regain his strength and rejoin the fight, after all. 

“It’s unlocked,” he said after a moment, and she entered the room.

He still looked exhausted, dressed now in an infirmary suit and a thick robe, laying in bed with his back to the door. He slowly pushed himself upright. “Allura.”

“I...brought you something to eat,” she said, setting the tray down on the bedside table. “I thought you might be hungry.”

He smiled blandly. “I’m not, but I should eat anyway. Thank you.” He didn’t touch the tray, though, and maybe he wanted to be alone, but… 

She wasn’t sure how to begin. “Much has happened, in these last few weeks, and we are...struggling to understand what Sendak’s plans are.”

Lotor laughed lowly, bitterly. “He means to destroy you; surely you know that. He might not be as obsessed with Voltron as my father was, but he cannot allow such a powerful force to interfere with his empire.”

”How...might he go about that?” She asked.

His eyes suddenly met hers, sharp and narrowed. “Ah… Is that why you will allow me to stay? So you can pry all the information you want out of me? When I have nothing else to give you, will you trade me back to Sendak? Or will you just kill me yourselves?”

“Lotor-“

“Admit it,” he hissed. “Once I am no longer of any use to you, you will discard me as you have done before!”

“If we were so terrible to you,” she shouted, “why would you come back?”

“I have nowhere else to go,” he said, softer, almost apologetically. “I did not mean for my anger to get the best of me.”

“Of course,” she said. “You must be tired. We can talk later.” She left.


	8. Chapter 8

It took over a day for Lotor to emerge from his room, after Allura paid him a visit, and when he did, he timidly limped to the common room, bracing himself on the walls and doorways as he went. 

It was clear that it was a monumental effort for him to get even that far, when he stopped in the entryway, gripping the doorframe with one hand, half bent-over, breathing hard, his forehead damp.

“You shouldn’t exert yourself so much,” Allura said, jumping up immediately to help him to a seat. “You need rest.”

He flinched as she wrapped an arm around his waist, half-supporting him. “I fear I would lose my mind if I stared at those four walls another hour,” he said quietly. “If you’d rather not- have me here, I can…”

“No,” she assured him, guiding him to sit down in the nearest spot. 

The others were there -with the exception of Coran, who was doing a systems check -but none of them said anything. Surely… That was for the best. Lotor needed understanding and compassion now, in light of recent...events.

And she had to admit, sometimes some of the Paladins lacked... _ tact _ . 

“Do you need anything?” She asked, once he was settled. “Something to eat, perhaps?”

“No, thank you,” he said. He did not look at her, or anything, staring blankly off into space, already lost in his head once more. “I… I will be fine.”

There was tension in the room, and abruptly, Pidge left, taking her computer with her; Lotor did not appear to notice. 

Hunk followed Pidge out, and then Lance was pulling Allura aside. 

“How long is he going to be here?” He asked in an undertone.

“I don’t know,” Allura replied. “As long as he needs.”

“Look at him!” Lance hissed. “He’s- They’ll come for him, eventually. And then what?”

“We’ll do what we must,” she said. “I know this isn’t ideal, Lance, but we- He came to us. We can’t abandon him like this. But if we must… I will put this team first, Lance. You know that.”

Several expressions flashed across his face, too fast for her to comprehend them. Finally, he shook his head. “Let’s hope they kill him next time.” 

He left, and Allura turned her attention back to Lotor. Shiro had migrated over, closer, trying to gently speak to him, but Lotor just numbly nodded or shook his head in response to his words. A far cry from the anger and accusations he’d hurled at Allura previously. 

That could be a good sign, she supposed. 

She went back over, and Lotor finally looked up at her. 

There was something about him now… Something different, from the way he’d been before. Maybe…

Maybe it was knowing that he’d suffered under the hand of the Galra. Not like she’s suffered, of course, but… 

He knew the stakes now. He would be onboard with their plans now. There would be no more disagreement, only a cooperative allyship, and it would be better than before.

At least until they ended up trading him back to the Empire; that would surely come at some point, and she would not risk her team for him. Not without more, and he had so little to bargain with. 

It was too bad, really; he looked younger, softer, with his hair falling in his face like that. Almost like a courtier that might have, long ago, courted her, sought her favor…

That would never be; she would never debase herself like  _ that _ to him or any Galra. Still… 

Well, marriage was obviously out, but there were other arrangements, and if they had the time, what was the harm in exploring those? Surely, he could not object to a change from the brutish attentions of the Galra. 

Altean customs were so much more... _ civilized _ . 

* * *

She did not know how he got to the observation deck -it was not near his room, and he seemed to be in too fragile a state yet - but that was where she found him, when she sought him out again. 

He huddled against one wall, one leg stretched out in front of him and the other pulled close to his chest.

He looked...lost. 

She sat down next to him. 

“Princess,” he greeted her. 

“Allura,” she corrected again. “How are you feeling?”

He shrugged. “Better, I suppose. I just- Some part of me keeps thinking that this is a- a dream, and that I’ll wake up eventually, and I’ll be right back there.”

“Oh,” she said, unsure of what else to say.

He sighed. “I know you want information,” he said. “I just- I don’t have much. While my father was still alive, I was in a cell except for when they- and that’s all...hazy. After…” He sighed again. “Sendak is smarter than most give him credit for. He was careful not to tell me anything I could use.”

“How did you escape?” She asked. She’d been wondering about that, and maybe… Maybe that could be useful.

“I waited, until he grew complacent, and then I just- left.”

“Could you get us back in?” She asked.

He paused, toying with a fold in his robe. “Perhaps. But probably not. He would have changed the security protocols once I escaped.”

”Oh,” she said. “We haven’t heard of patrols out looking for you.”

”Of course not,” Lotor said. “He can’t admit that he let me escape. But he will come for me eventually.” He huddled up closer upon himself.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “We’ll keep you safe.”

Lotor closed his eyes tight and sort of...shuddered, out of fear, perhaps. “Thank you, Princess.”

She didn’t bother correcting him. Instead -and she didn’t know why she felt compelled to do this -she leaned over, too quickly to second-guess herself, and pressed her lips to his…

He jerked away, eyes wide and frantic. “What are you doing?” He asked hoarsely.

“I- I-“ She didn’t have an answer for that. “Forgive me,” she said at last, standing. It had been too soon for that. She’d have to give him more time, let him heal a little more. “I’ll leave you to enjoy the view.” 

She nearly fled. 

* * *

To everyone’s surprise, and nearly everyone’s discomfort, Lotor joined them for dinner the next night. 

Conversation was therefore stilted and awkward, for all that Allura tried, but it was...difficult. Lotor’s experiences were alien to her, and especially alien to the rest of the team (perhaps with the exception of Shiro), and much of it was not appropriate dinner conversation.

Not that Lotor seemed intent on making conversation, but the other paladins seemed reluctant to speak in front of him. Not without reason, of course. Just...surely there were things they could discuss in front of him. 

Dinner came to an end eventually, regardless of the centuries it seemed to take for it to pass, and she stood.

Only for the deck to tilt under her feet. 

She frowned. The alarms weren’t sounding, so the ship hadn’t encountered any obstacles or enemy ships or…

It was suddenly difficult to think, her thoughts fuzzy around the edges.

“...cess? Princess?” Shiro asked, as if from underwater.

She turned and blinked at him as he stood to catch her as she swayed on her feet, only…

Only he nearly fell himself. 

She sat back down very suddenly, her knees buckling underneath her, and it was… It was difficult to think, to see or hear or feel…

She glanced around wildly, desperate to understand, but all she saw was Lotor’s sharp, feral grin as he lifted a glass in a mocking toast. His lips moved, but she couldn’t understand what he said, and then-

Nothing. 


	9. Chapter 9

Kova paced and yowled in front of the door. 

He’d done that every night for the last three nights, and frankly, Sendak felt the same way. He missed Lotor, and he wanted him back, and he couldn’t help but worry about him…

Kova tolerated Sendak most of the time, but he refused to be comforted by him now, so there was nothing he could do. Except wait, and worry, and…

His comm chimed, so he looked, and-

Lotor had activated the tracking beacon. 

_ Finally _ . Finally, he was ready for Sendak to retrieve him.

Sendak immediately mobilized the fleet, sending it straight towards Lotor’s location. It would take over an hour -an hour too long, in Sendak’s opinion -but he’d have Lotor back  _ tonight _ . 

“We’re going to him,” Sendak told Kova, only feeling slightly ridiculous. “He’ll be back soon.”

Kova paused and looked at Sendak for a moment, before hopping up on the bed, as if he understood that he didn’t need to worry anymore. He curled up on Lotor’s pillow and started purring. 

Sendak gave him a chin scratch before getting up and getting ready. It was impossible to say exactly what he’d be walking into, and he wanted to be prepared. 

* * *

 

It was strange to be back onboard the Castle of Lions after all this time -the site of his only major defeat in ten thousand years -and yet, he couldn’t care less about that.

Lotor was waiting for him in the hangar. Sendak rushed over to him as soon as the shuttle was safe to exit, not particularly caring what the soldiers he’d brought with him thought. 

Lotor sketched a deep bow -Sendak had the sense that he would have knelt, if he’d been physically capable of it- but Sendak just shook his head. “You don’t need to do that,” he said, tilting Lotor’s chin up with a gentle finger.

Lotor hesitated, searching for something in Sendak’s gaze, and nodded. “They’re in the dining room,” he said.

Sendak dismissed the soldiers to retrieve the paladins, and as soon as they were alone, he embraced Lotor, holding him as close as he could (without aggravating any of Lotor’s still-healing injuries).

“They were awful,” Lotor whispered. Sendak barely heard, with the way Lotor had tucked himself under Sendak’s chin. “They were awful to me and I don’t feel sorry about this.”

“You shouldn’t,” Sendak said. Although the Paladins were definitely going to receive a visit from him now, too, for treating Lotor so horribly. “Let me take you home, my love.”

Lotor nodded, but made no move to let Sendak go. Sendak held him for another moment, then carefully picked him up. 

“Everything will be taken care of,” Sendak said, carrying Lotor back to the shuttle that would take them to the flagship. “Don’t worry about anything.”

Lotor nodded again.

He dozed a little on the short flight back to the flagship, and Sendak took him immediately back to their quarters. He’d given orders about how to handle this situation, and he could trust Hepta to oversee it, which meant he could stay with Lotor.

Kova was waiting at the door, meowing loudly and weaving around Sendak’s ankles as he carried Lotor to bed. 

Lotor smiled softly and patted the covers next to him, and Kova jumped up on the bed and into Lotor’s lap.

“I missed you, too,” Lotor said, pressing his forehead against Kova’s. Kova licked his cheek. 

“Do you need anything?” Sendak asked. “Did they hurt you?”

Lotor shook his head. “No, I- I’m fine now. I just- I think I’ll sleep. Will you…?”

“Of course,” Sendak said, as he quickly finished undressing for bed. He crawled into bed and held Lotor. “You didn’t sleep at all while you were away, did you?”

Lotor hesitated, then shook his head. “How could I? I wasn’t safe there.”

Sendak kissed his forehead. “Go to sleep, my love. I’ll keep you safe, and we’ll talk more when you wake up.”

Lotor hugged him tighter for a moment. “I love you, Sendak.”

“I love you, too.” 

Kova curled up on Lotor’s other side, and it only took a few minutes for Lotor to fall asleep. Sendak also hadn’t slept much while Lotor was gone, so he settled down and joined him in his slumber.

* * *

It took Sendak a moment to figure out what had awakened him. He blinked up at the ceiling, then turned to look over at Lotor. 

Lotor huddled on the other side of the bed, upright with his knees drawn to his chest (it must be painful for him, since his knee was still healing), shaking and shuddering. 

“Lotor?” Sendak murmured, quietly so as not to startle him. 

Lotor’s eyes glowed yellow in the dark as he looked at Sendak, before curling up even smaller.

“Oh, Lotor,” Sendak said gently, “what’s wrong, my love?”

Lotor shook his head.

“Can I hold you?”

Lotor hesitated, then nodded, so Sendak carefully gathered him up into his lap. “Did you have a bad dream, baby?” 

Lotor nodded again and, well… it hadn’t been such a difficult thing to guess. As long as Sendak had known Lotor, he’d been plagued with nightmares, and recent events certainly wouldn’t have helped. 

Sendak was going to tear the paladins apart. 

Kova wriggled his way into Lotor’s arms, purring, and while it took a few minutes, Lotor did eventually relax incrementally.

Sendak just held him, grateful that, at the very least, he was here with Lotor to take care of him when he needed it. 

Finally, Lotor turned and embraced Sendak (careful to not squish Kova). “I can’t- Please don’t leave me. I need you, I need you so much, I can’t-“

“I’m not going anywhere,” Sendak promised. “I’m here, Lotor, I'll always be here for you.” 

“I dreamed that they killed you,” Lotor whispered, “and it was so real that I-“

“Oh, baby,” Sendak murmured. “It was just a dream. I’m right here.”

“I know. I know, but- It was so  _ real _ .” 

“Everything’s alright, my love. Nothing’s going to happen to either of us.”

Lotor clung to him for several long minutes before nodding. “I almost believe you,” he said, with the barest trace of his usual wryness.

“I’ve never lied to you,” Sendak said. “So you should believe me.”

Lotor tugged his eye gently. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Lotor. I want you to remember that.” 

“I will,” Lotor said. He rubbed his cheek against Sendak’s. “I’m ready to go back to sleep.”

Sendak kissed his forehead and rearranged them so they were laying down, with Lotor pressed up against Sendak’s chest as close as possible. “Good. You need your rest, my love.”

He rubbed Lotor’s back until he fell asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up kiddos! This is just the fluff before the murder!


	10. Chapter 10

Lotor stalked -limped -into the main chamber of what Allura supposed was the brig, flanked by two sentries.

He looked no better than he had while aboard the Castle-ship, but he was dressed better: all black with gold accents, cut in an almost Altean style, but not armor. In fact, he appeared unarmed and harmless, but-

Appearances were deceiving.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing!?” Lance shouted. 

Lotor smiled coldly. “No worse than what you did to me. You sent me to my death, so it’s only fair that I send you to yours.”

“... _ what _ ?” 

“You’re still alive,” Pidge protested. 

“No thanks to you,” Lotor said. “You had no intention of helping me after I served out my usefulness. Fine. Your usefulness is at an end as well. My father is dead -again, no thanks to you -and Voltron is a worthless, dangerous relic of another age. I was intending to let you return to your planet, provided you swore to remain there for the rest of your days.

“Unfortunately, your word is no good to me, and therefore, I must implement a more permanent solution.” 

“What are you going to do to us?” Allura asked, half-horrified, half… resigned. She should have expected something like this from him.

He turned to her. “I’ve not yet decided the details. I considered giving you a taste of all that I went through, but I don’t wish to waste weeks of my time torturing you. I have better things to do.” He smiled thinly. “Perhaps considering the possibilities amongst yourselves will be torture enough.”

“You sold us out the Sendak,” she accused. “What happens when you aren’t useful to him anymore? Please, Lotor, we could- We could help each other.”

He laughed. “You’ve helped me enough.” To the sentries, he said, “If they begin discussing escape, kill one of them. It doesn’t matter which.”

And then he turned to leave, still limping.

“You can drop the act now!” Lance shouted. “You’re not fooling anyone! I never trusted you, from the beginning, and I told them! I warned them not to listen to you. I bet you’ve been planning this since the beginning!”

Lotor paused, then turned back around slowly. “You signed your own death warrants the moment you signed mine. I never intended for it to go this far, but perhaps you should have treated me better. It’s easy to plead for mercy once the consequences of your actions become clear, but it takes real strength to have compassion for the sake of compassion. Be grateful I am still here to hold back the rage of my husband; it could be so much worse for you.”

“ _ Husband _ ?” Allura hissed.

Lotor’s grin was downright malicious now. “I believe you’ve met previously. Sendak is my husband.”

Allura’s mind blanked for a moment. “You-  _ what _ ?” 

“What, did you think you were being kind to me, by trying to kiss me? What were you planning, Princess? Would you have coerced me into your bed? Not very Altean, but then- Altea is gone, and no one cares what her lost daughter gets up to. But I don’t need your pity, and you don’t deserve mine.”

“You’re a monster,” she said.

“Maybe. But I am alive.” 

He left, never looking back.

“Exactly how fucked are we?” Lance asked.

“Oh, we’re completely scroggled now,” Coran said. 

* * *

Sendak looked up at the doors at the other end of the hall swung open.

Lotor stood there, looking a little lost.

Sendak dismissed the occupants of the hall, and they filed out, bowing their heads to Lotor respectfully as they passed.

Not quite the amount of respect he deserved, as Sendak’s husband, but no one knew that. All they knew was that he was close to Sendak, his exact standing unknown and therefore- they decided to err on the side of caution. 

A reasonable strategy, especially since High Command had been decimated on Sendak’s orders. They knew what he would do if he was displeased. 

The doors swung closed again behind Lotor, and he limped across the hall to where Sendak was still seated on the throne. He hauled himself into Sendak’s lap without waiting for an invitation -not that he needed one -and curled up.

“Am I a monster?” He whispered.

Sendak stroked his hair and back. “Of course not, baby. Who-?” And then he stopped. Who else, but the paladins? “You spoke to them today.”

“I wanted them to know  _ why _ ,” he said. “This is- this is their fault. It didn’t have to be like this, but they- these are the consequences of their actions.” 

“I know,” Sendak said. 

“But they won’t- They can’t conceive of their own wrongdoing.” 

“I know.” He kissed the top of Lotor’s head. “But it won’t matter for long. They will provide an excellent example for everyone else, my love. No one will dare raise a hand against you, not for any reason, I swear.”

“I want Voltron destroyed,” Lotor said.

“Alright,” Sendak replied. He didn’t quite know how to go about that, but if that’s what Lotor wanted, he’d find a way. 

Lotor laughed, a little sadly. “Do you really feel so guilty that I could ask for anything right now, and you’d give it to me?”

“It’s not guilt,” Sendak said. “You deserve so much better than you’ve had, and now that I have the power to do so, I will give you everything you want, everything you need.” 

Lotor didn’t say anything for a long time. Finally: “What about what you want?”

“I want you to be happy and safe,” Sendak said, holding Lotor just a little closer. “That’s all that matters to me. All that’s ever mattered to me.” 

Lotor started shaking, and Sendak didn’t have to look to know that he was crying. 

Sendak rubbed his back and murmured soft, comforting nonsense to him. Sendak considered this a sacred duty: Lotor didn’t cry in front of anyone else, didn’t allow himself to take that kind of comfort from anyone else, so it was Sendak’s job to be here for him, comfort him, love him, protect him. It was safe for him to express how he felt in Sendak’s presence, and it always would be, no matter what he felt. 

It had taken such a long time to get to this point, but it had been worth it, if it meant that Lotor wasn’t alone right now.

“I’m sorry,” Lotor whispered finally. “I don’t know why I’m- I shouldn’t be-“

“Shh,” Sendak soothed. “It’s alright. You have nothing to prove to me.”

Lotor shifted so he could embrace Sendak. “I love you. Thank you for staying with me through all of...this.”

“I wouldn’t leave you while you needed me the most, Lotor.”

“I know,” Lotor said quietly. “I just...can’t believe it, sometimes.”

Sendak kissed him tenderly, cupping his jaw in his hand. Lotor had a hard time trusting the things people said, and was more inclined to believe actions, so if Sendak had to  _ show _ him that he wasn’t going to leave -not for any reason -then that’s what he’d do. 

“I love you,” Sendak said when the kiss ended. He pressed their foreheads together, an overwhelmingly sweet and romantic gesture. “I love you more each day. I would be lost without you, my love, so please know that whatever happens, I will be by your side through it all.”

Lotor turned his head enough to press a kiss to Sendak’s palm, answer enough for now.

Eventually, Lotor swiped at his eyes. “Don’t you have duties to attend to?”

“I am tending to them,” Sendak said. “You come first.”

“Sendak…”

“Hush. I do have more audiences scheduled today; you can stay if you want.”

“No one knows where I stand,” Lotor said. “It...unnerves them.”

“That’s hardly a problem.” 

Lotor glanced away. “Sendak… have you heard anything about my- about Axca and the others?”

“They’re imprisoned,” Sendak replied. 

“Did you-?”

“No,” Sendak said quickly. “Your father did that. He- He didn’t think they could be trusted. They’d already proven themselves capable of betrayal, so…”

“Yes,” Lotor said. “Yes, I...know.” He sighed. “They’ve waited long enough. Can you- Can you fit them in today?”

“What are you planning, my love?”

“They knew better than anyone what would happen if my father got ahold of me. And they- They still- So. It’s time to pass judgement.”

“Alright,” Sendak murmured. He kissed Lotor’s cheek. “I will see to it. Do you want to- to watch?”

“I owe them that much.” 


	11. Chapter 11

Axca blinked -all the surprise she was allowed to show, as she was pushed forward without pause, not allowed to hesitate or stall -at the sight before her.

There had been no news while they were imprisoned. Sentries had brought their food, and no one else had come to visit, to gloat or anything else.

As far as she’d known before setting foot into the throne room, Lotor was dead and Zarkon was the Emperor.

So seeing Sendak on the throne and Lotor perched on the arm of the throne was…surprising, to say the least.

Lotor had seen better days -he’d had happy days with them, days when it was impossible to get any work done, because they’d been too busy laughing and joking with each other -but… He was alive, and despite his perch at Sendak’s side, he looked proud, and cruel, and distant.

Sendak’s hand rested possessively on his hip, his fingers drumming in a steady rhythm; she didn’t know Sendak well enough to know what that meant. Lotor had dealt with him, whenever Zarkon sent him on inspections, so she’d never had the opportunity to-

She blinked again.  _ Lotor had dealt with him _ . 

Had Sendak...coerced Lotor into something? Blackmailed him? Had he found something he wasn’t supposed to, and used that information to-?

She heard Zethrid’s grunt as the three of them were forced to their knees before the throne. Well out of striking distance, though, as if they would try anything in a room full of armed Galra. 

Then again...What did they have to lose? 

“My predecessor imprisoned the three of you because your willingness to betray your prince- whether he was a fugitive of the Empire or not -cast doubt onto your loyalty,” Sendak said. “What do you have to say in your defense?”

It had been necessary. She’d had to think of her life, and the lives of Zethrid and Ezor, and if Lotor had to be sacrificed so they could live… He’d just killed Narti, after all, and who knew which of them would be next? Who knew that he wouldn’t turn on all of them to save himself? 

Obviously, it hadn’t worked out perfectly. Zarkon had thrown them into cells as soon as Lotor had been brought back to Central Command,  _ to be dealt with later. _

“Lotor is a murderer,” Ezor said, “and a liar, and he would have done the same to us.”

“Hm,” was all Sendak said. Axca didn’t dare look up at the throne. All her life, she’d lived on the edge of survival, playing a dangerous game, trying to make it in this hostile universe, and  _ this _ was how it ended. She knew it. 

She didn’t want to see it coming. 

There was a long, long pause, like the moment before a cannon fired, and all was still. 

“And what do you have to say for yourself?” Sendak asked, softer, not directed at them.

Axca looked up in shock. Was he really going to listen to Lotor’s lies? Lotor was a traitor, he was a murderer, he was a liar, so why- 

Lotor looked down at them, his eyes narrowed and cold. “They know nothing.” 

“And how should we reward them for their deeds?” Sendak asked, practically cooing to Lotor.

And Lotor… He wasn’t… He wasn’t repulsed. He put up with it, and if her eyes didn’t deceive her, he even leaned into Sendak’s touch.

There shouldn’t have been enough time for Sendak to break him like this. It had only been a few months since they’d come back to Central Command, and not even two months since Sendak had become Emperor. 

Which meant…

“You’ve killed others for less, Sire,” Lotor murmured, no longer looking at them, but at Sendak. 

“You’ve shown mercy for more.” 

“Lotor,” she began nervously. “Lotor, I don’t- I don’t know what happened to you, but I- it was never out of spite. I was just trying to protect them. I- I did what I had to do, Lotor. You did the same, didn’t you?”

Lotor turned to look at her, so fast his hair -what remained of it -swung wildly around his jaw. “It was not the same. I didn’t leave Narti to suffer. I gave her the clean, merciful death she wanted. Is that what you did for me? No. I wish you had done it out of spite -if you’d hated me, I could have understood. But this- this is something you claim to have done out of- what? Love?”

She quailed back, having forgotten, somehow, how intense he could be. Sendak treated him like a pampered little pet, but he wasn’t, and never had been.

“Look at me! Look at me, Axca. You owe me that much, after all I’ve done for you.”

“Lotor, please…” She whispered, unable to will herself to look up. Lotor’s anger was never physical -the most he’d ever done was yell a little and then leave -but that had been before, and he was different now. He was hurting now, more than he’d ever hurt before. 

Lotor was quiet for a moment, then he whispered something to Sendak. 

“Exile,” Sendak said. “The three of you will be exiled for the rest of your days, beyond the furthest reaches of the Empire. Take them away.”

They were hauled to their feet. Axca felt numb. Why- why would Lotor suggest exile? He was so angry, so- Surely he wanted more from them, surely he wanted to see them suffer, surely he wanted-

“And if you ever come near him again,” Sendak said, “I will kill you myself.” 

She didn’t know what to make of it. She supposed they ought to be grateful -exile was preferable to execution, and they could build a life for themselves out there -but she was just too confused. 

“Lotor, why?” She asked, as they were being led out.

“You were my friends once,” he said quietly, and there was pain in his eyes, but no anger. 

Before she could say anything else, the doors closed.

* * *

Lotor sat quietly in one of the overstuffed armchairs in the sitting room of the Suite, absently petting Kova. He hadn’t said much since the audience ended, and Sendak imagined that he was still processing it, agonizing over it.

Maybe he’d done the right thing, and maybe he hadn’t, but either way- it was over now. They would never live to betray Lotor again, regardless of what happened next. 

Sendak knew that Lotor didn’t want to hear that right now, so he mostly left Lotor to his thoughts while he read over reports nearby.

“I want you to make the announcement soon,” Lotor said eventually. “I want everyone to know that I am not your- your  _ pet _ , spoiled and pampered as long as it amuses you.” 

“Alright,” Sendak said. “How soon?”

Lotor shrugged. “Sooner rather than later, I suppose. Within the next few weeks, perhaps.”

Sendak nodded. “Alright. I can do that. Haggar is returning -probably to complain about something, I’m sure -so I think we’ll be in a position to deal with her soon, as well. Does that suit?”

“Yes,” Lotor whispered, still staring off into space. 

It would be callous to try to cheer Lotor up right now -Sendak knew how much the generals had meant to Lotor - but it wasn’t healthy for him to dwell on it, either. 

(Sendak didn’t know what he would have done if Haxus had betrayed him; they’d worked together for so long that they were almost like siblings. It would have been unthinkably painful, just as Haxus’ death had been.) 

He knelt in front of Lotor. “My love, what do you need tonight?”

Lotor finally looked at him, and Sendak was not particularly surprised that his eyes were brimming with unshed tears. “They were my  _ friends _ ,” he said brokenly. “We used to laugh together and play silly games and make wagers and gossip and- and- I can’t look at them- I can’t  _ think _ about them - without… They wanted this to happen to me. 

“I want to hate them, but I... _ can’t _ .” 

“Oh, Lotor,” Sendak murmured. He’d never interacted much with the generals, but they’d managed to earn Lotor’s trust, and that was such a difficult thing to do that he’d assumed… Obviously, they’d both been wrong. 

Lotor swiped a hand across his eyes. “But they’re gone now. They’re gone, and you’re here.”

“Always,” Sendak promised. “Forever. That’s what I swore to you.”

“You always were a man of your word,” Lotor said, the barest hint of a watery smile gracing his lips. “That’s one of the things I like about you.” 

Sendak took one of his hands and pressed a kiss to his palm. Lotor deserved someone who would be truthful to him, keep his promises, be someone he could depend on. He should have been able to depend on his generals, but- He’d always have Sendak, at the very least. 

“I love you,” Lotor said hoarsely. “I don’t think I tell you that enough.” 

“You don’t have to tell me. I know.” He stood after a moment and scooped up both Lotor and Kova. “Let’s go to bed.”

“It’s not late,” Lotor said.

“Do you remember how’d we curl up in that bunk you had in that tiny ship you retrofitted, and just...talk?” Sendak asked, carrying Lotor back to the bedroom.

“There wasn’t room to do much else,” Lotor said. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Anything,” he said, setting Lotor down on the bed. “Anything you want. I just like hearing you talk.” 

Kova promptly curled up on Lotor’s pillow, leaving just enough room for Lotor’s head; Lotor stroked his back for a moment. “I...found this planet, once. A long time ago. It was beautiful, and...perfect. No sentient life, but it had various kinds of wildlife and sea life, and the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever seen…”

He continued talking as Sendak got them both ready for bed (Lotor didn’t really need his help, but he wasn’t refusing it, and Sendak liked taking care of him), painting a picture of what Sendak imagined to be paradise.

“I… I almost asked you to run away there with me,” Lotor said softly. “We could have sustained ourselves by hunting and fishing, built a little house somewhere…”

“It would have been perfect,” Sendak said. 

Lotor laughed softly. “I probably would have gotten bored eventually, so maybe-“ He sighed. “I don’t know. It’s nice to think about sometimes, having our own home.”

“I’m home as long as I’m with you, no matter where we are.” He kissed Lotor, once on the forehead and then on the lips.

Lotor smiled softly. “What did I do to deserve you?”

Sendak pulled him close. “You didn't have to do anything at all, except be you.”

Lotor hugged him a little tighter. 


	12. Chapter 12

Sendak rather liked having Lotor perch on the arm of the throne during his various audiences. For one thing, it kept him within easy reach, where Sendak could keep an eye on him and protect him easily, if need be. 

Not that any would dare attack him here, like this, when he was so obviously under Sendak’s protection. 

He also liked having Lotor nearby to whisper observations and advice and opinions -and, if he was in an unusually good mood, the occasional joke; today, there was none of that.

Lotor was good at concealing his anxiety; he’d had ten thousand years of practice, after all. But he couldn’t hide it entirely from Sendak, and perhaps not from the witch, either.

Not that she paid much attention to him. He wasn’t _important_ _enough_ for her to _waste her time._

“Sire,” she began bluntly, “when can my Druids return to their normal duties? Their skills are wasted tracking down these- these traitors, and we are all beginning to feel the effects of the greatly diminished quintessence output-“

Of course  _ she _ was; over half of all Quintessence produced went directly to her, her Druids, or her laboratories. The rest of the Empire did not require such vast amounts, and had -thus far -been running quite smoothly.

Cutting her powers off at the source had been Lotor’s idea, if not in so many words. 

“-and therefore, Sire, I respectfully request that my Druids and I return to our previous duties and leave this ...fool's errand to-“

“There is no one more qualified for this task,” Sendak replied smoothly.

“The Blade of Marmora has been nearly obliterated,” she protested. “Let someone else clean up the remnants, Sire, and let me return to Central Command!”

“No,” Sendak said, trying to hide his malicious smile. This was all playing out exactly as he’d wanted it to. The witch was known for her games, her long schemes and complex plots; Sendak wasn’t, but that was because he’d cultivated his image that way. People underestimated him, thinking him capable of little more than obedience and brutality.

That was why Zarkon had let him get so close, and why the witch dared to speak to him like this now, why she suspected nothing. 

(Lotor alone had managed to look past the image to see the man underneath, to understand and appreciate the complexities hidden by his reputation, and Sendak loved him for it.) 

“Sire?”

“I said no,” Sendak said coldly. “I set you a task, and I expect to see it finished.”

“I- I am the High Priestess!” She hissed. “You cannot-“

“I can.” 

Her mouth hung open for just a second before she recovered. “I think it is highly inappropriate for you, Sire, to parade your-  _ your pet _ around like this, especially at such important meetings.”

“I neither want nor care for your opinion,” Sendak said. “And he’s not my  _ pet _ .” 

“Whatever ‘title’ you’ve given him, then,” she said scathingly. “Toy, slave, whore- whatever you call him, he shouldn’t be here.”

“And why not?” Sendak asked, dangerously quiet now and trying not to let his anger show too much. Lotor noticed anyway, and put one hand on his wrist, just a little reminder that they were in this together. They would fail or succeed  _ together _ . “Is it too much for him to witness your humiliation?”

She worked her jaw silently for a long moment, so Sendak continued: “You must realize that we are not alone in this audience, and that this audience, as with all audiences, is being broadcast across the Empire right now. There is no Galra citizen that will not have heard about this by the end of the day.”

“Why should I care about the judgement of the Emperor’s bedwarmer?” She hissed. “Or any Galra, for that matter? I am the High Priestess, and without me and my Druids, this Empire will collapse in mere weeks.”

“You are blind,” Lotor said. “You fight against the end you have felt since you arrived back at Central Command, and you know I will be there to see it.”

“Sire,” she said, “if you will not send your... _ toy _ away, at least teach him to keep his mouth shut when-“

“My husband speaks as he likes,” Sendak said.

There was a long, long silence in the hall. 

She paled considerably. She wasn’t Galra, but she had lived among them long enough that she knew how they treated their spouses -with absolute  _ devotion _ -and she knew she had made a huge mistake. 

Sendak waited in malicious glee. Lotor hated her, and he’d never had particularly  good feelings about her, so this- watching her final downfall come so swiftly, so unexpectedly, so  _ publically _ -was… 

(He also knew, or could guess, that she’d overseen a great deal of Lotor’s...torments, in recent days and also throughout the course of his life, and she  _ deserved _ what was coming to her for that alone. To talk of him so dismissively and disparagingly now… Well. What was one more crime added to her extensive roster?) 

“I- I did not know, Sire,” she said quietly, almost timidly. “If I had, I  _ never _ would have-“

“It doesn’t matter if you knew or not,” Sendak said. “I will give you a choice: leave the Empire and never come back, never amass power beyond yourself, never leave the place I decide will be your prison, or argue with me and see what happens.”

The ultimatum gave her some of her spine back; Sendak had been counting on it. “Sire!” She protested. “You cannot banish me. I- I could be so useful to you. I could- You need quintessence, and whatever measures you’ve taken to stretch the current supply, you will eventually run out, and then what? You need me! Only I can-“

“I have no use for you,” Sendak said. “Prince Lotor’s work on the matter is far superior to yours on every level except cruelty. And since you chose to exhaust what little mercy I was willing to give you…” 

He signaled for the guards to come forward, to restrain her, to force her to her knees. 

“Anything else you wish to say?” He asked. “This is your last chance.”

She looked around, frantic and wild, and finally settled on the one person she assumed might be both inclined to grant her mercy and able to change Sendak’s mind: Lotor.

“Please,” she begged. “Your father always said you were soft, but you aren’t- just merciful, and that’s a virtue. You can stop this, you can-“

“Mercy is not a Galra virtue,” Lotor said, colder than Sendak had ever heard him, “and even if it was- why should I grant you something you never gave to anyone?” 

That was the final permission from Lotor: no last minute reprieve, only steadfast certainty. 

Sendak found Lotor’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, even as he nodded to the executioner.

Lotor looked away as the blade fell, but Sendak watched, needing to know that it was done, that she was truly dead. 

The hunt for the Blade of Marmora had drained her, decimated her Druids, left her powerless and alone now, and she had no more tricks up her sleeve.

It truly was over. She’d been the last significant piece of Zarkon’s regime, and she was as dead as he was.

“Clean that up,” Sendak said, standing and pulling Lotor with him, putting his body between Lotor and the witch’s body, shielding him from the sight, as he led him out of the hall. 

Lotor followed easily, falling into his role as the proud and cold prince, using it as a mask to hide whatever it was he was really feeling. Even Sendak wasn’t entirely sure right now, but they’d be alone soon, and he could ask, coax Lotor into opening up and letting go. 

They did not make it back to their Suite before Lotor stopped, facing Sendak and taking his hands in his. 

They were alone, though, in a secluded hallway, and Sendak supposed that was privacy enough for whatever Lotor intended. 

“Thank you,” Lotor said, looking up at Sendak with such gratitude and sincerity that Sendak could  _ feel _ it. “No one’s ever- No one’s ever stood up for me like that before.”

Sendak froze for a moment, before realizing that...it was  _ true _ . Of course it was. Few people had cared for Lotor enough over the years to even consider such a thing, and of those, most were too afraid of Zarkon to bother. Sendak would have, a thousand times over, but Lotor had considered it more important to keep their relationship secret.

So of course no one had defended him like this before. 

“I will do it every single day, if I must,” Sendak said. “You honor is mine, and now everyone knows it.” 

Lotor reached up, gently cupping Sendak’s face and pulling him down for a kiss. There was nothing sexual about it; this was more of an expression of gratitude and love than anything else. 

Sendak embraced Lotor and held him close, simply enjoying this moment with his husband: Lotor’s lithe body in his arms, the feeling of Lotor’s lips moving against his, Lotor’s delicate hands caressing his ears and neck and crest.

“We’re free now,” Lotor said, when he finally pulled away.

Sendak couldn’t resist pressing a little kiss to Lotor’s forehead. “Yes, my love.”

“I didn’t think that would really work,” Lotor admitted. “I thought- I thought she’d be spooked by- I don’t know, but-“

“She was too arrogant,” Sendak said. “I suspect we’ve cured her of that.”

Lotor laughed. “Yes, I suppose so.”

He wasn’t truly happy about this turn of events, but he was relieved, like a heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders, and that was  _ something _ . 

Sendak kissed him again, because he liked kissing Lotor. “Now things can really change,” he murmured. “It will be better now, because we can make it better.” 

“Yes,” Lotor agreed. “Yes, we will.” 

* * *

It had been over a week since the first and last time Lotor had visited.

He looked better now, lighter, although not truly happy. Allura probably would have been disturbed if he had been.

He was still cold, though, and distant.

“The last remnants of my father’s regime are being destroyed as we speak,” he said, “every last remaining Druid killed for their heinous acts, their leader already reunited with my late father. And now there is only you.”

“We are not part of Zarkon’s regime,” Allura spat.

Lotor quirked an eyebrow. “Voltron allowed him to gain his power, keep his power, use and abuse his power, either through its direct usage or as a propaganda tool. As Alfor did. Regardless, that, too, will end soon.”

He paused, glancing at the Sentries set to guard their prison. “I had expected one of you, at least, to be dead by now, but I suppose you must have actually listened to me. Or...were you expecting rescue?”

No one answered that, but- Of course they had been. They had allies on the outside: the Rebels, the Blade, the Olkari…

Lotor took their silence as an answer. “No one is coming for you,” he said. “The Rebels are nothing without Voltron, and we have already made peace with the Olkari. If my father had not invaded, I have no doubt they would have stayed out of the war entirely. Every other planet you coerced into joining your alliance was placated or pacified, and the war is over now. No one is coming for you.”

“The Blade,” Shiro hissed. “You forgot about the Blade of Marmora.”

Lotor smiled cruelly. “No, hardly. The Blade of Marmora no longer exists.” He pulled something from his sleeve and threw it down on the floor, in front of the cell. “The Emperor sends his regards.”

He turned and left, and they all stared at the knife sitting so casually on the floor, covered in half-dried blood, the once-glowing marks dim. 

“That’s…” Hunk began.

But he didn’t need to say it; they all knew. 


	13. Chapter 13

Lotor rested with his head on Sendak’s chest, Sendak’s arm wrapped around his shoulders, and Kova curled up in his lap, while Sendak read through reports. 

He still got tired easily and frequently, and therefore couldn’t push himself the way he had before. Still, he did like this quiet time spent with Sendak.

He couldn’t remember ever having something like this before, and he hadn’t realized he’d wanted it until now, but- It helped, somehow. 

Sendak occasionally asked for his opinion about something, but for the most part, they didn’t really need to speak. This was enough.

But… would it always be enough?

Sendak finally set his tablet aside, and Lotor used the opportunity to climb into his lap (displacing Kova, who left the room, which was just as well). 

Sendak seemed a little startled, but he smiled softly and kissed the tip of Lotor’s nose. “Not quite ready for bed yet?”

“No,” Lotor said. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against Sendak’s in a slow, gentle kiss. It would be best -for both of them -to take this slow, build up to it.

They kissed for… It felt like hours, like forever, but it was probably only twenty minutes, and it was going well -better than Lotor expected, actually. Sendak treated him so  _ well,  _ touching him exactly the way he liked, never pushing, and allowing Lotor to set the pace.

Lotor nipped Sendak’s bottom lip, a little tease, and Sendak groaned and his hips bucked upwards, and-

Lotor flinched as he felt Sendak’s hard cock brush against him.

Sendak stopped immediately, pulling back enough for him to study Lotor. “Lotor, my love, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Lotor said as steadily as he could. He could tell by Sendak’s expression that it didn’t work, but he continued on anyway: “Nothing’s wrong. I want you, darling,  I want you so much…”

“You’re not even hard,” Sendak pointed out.

Lotor hadn’t realized that himself until Sendak mentioned it, but it was true. He felt the blood drain from his face. “I-“

“It’s alright,” Sendak said gently. “We don’t have to do anything tonight.” 

“If not tonight, then when?” Lotor asked, not quite able to look at Sendak right now. 

“When you’re ready,” Sendak said. 

“What if I’m never ready?” Lotor whispered. 

Sendak was quiet for a long moment, and then he was embracing Lotor, pulling him close and rubbing his back. “Then you’re never ready. And that’s alright. I love you, Lotor, and this doesn’t change that.  _ Nothing _ will. I promised you forever, my love, without exception.”

“I- I miss you,” Lotor said. “I miss being with you, and I want to be, and I hoped that maybe if we… I’d want it and enjoy it, but… I’m  _ afraid _ .” 

“What are you afraid of?” Sendak asked, no judgment, just patience. 

It was more than Lotor deserved. It was too much; Sendak was too good to him, and he’d done nothing to deserve it, and there was nothing he could do to reciprocate. Not now, certainly, and probably not ever. He wasn’t like Sendak, he-

“Lotor?” Sendak asked.

“Why are you so good to me?” Lotor asked, choking on his words as he tried not to sob. 

“Because I love you,” Sendak said. “More than anything.”

“ _ Why _ ?” Lotor cried desperately. 

“Why?” Sendak repeated. “Because you… You’re the strongest person I know. The brightest and best person, despite everything. I know life hasn’t been kind to you, Lotor. I know it’s been hard, and I’ve tried to make this, at least, easy. If that’s not what you need, then…”

He trailed off; he clearly didn’t like the prospect of making this harder than it had to be.

“No,” Lotor said. “No, I can't do this without you. I just- I’m afraid that you’ll- you’ll leave, and then…”

“Why would I leave?” Sendak asked, and in other circumstances, Lotor would have burst out laughing at how befuddled he sounded. 

“You could do better,” Lotor said quietly. “You’re the Emperor now; you could have anyone you wanted, but you’re stuck with me, and I…”

“I could not possibly do better,” Sendak said firmly. “And even if I could, I don’t want anyone else. I want  _ you _ . I chose  _ you _ . I wouldn’t have married you if I wasn’t prepared to stay with you no matter what.”

“Even if we never have sex again?” 

“I didn’t marry you for the sex,” Sendak said. “It’s good, but if I had to choose between you and sex, I’d choose you.”

“You say that now,” Lotor said, “but-“

“But nothing,” Sendak said.

“I can’t do anything else for you!” Lotor said, frustrated. “I can’t do everything for you that you do for me, and that’s the least I can do, and if I can’t do that, then what good am I!”

That made Sendak angry -his ears flattened against his skull, and he was literally bristling -but, from what Lotor could tell, not at him. “Your worth,” Sendak said, quietly, firmly, “is not determined by what you can do for me or anyone else. You don’t have to do anything except be you for me to love you.”

“But-“

“No!” Sendak growled. “You are perfect the way you are. I’m sorry you feel like you have to- to earn affection and love and attention from everyone, but you don’t from me. Let me give you what you need. Let me take care of you. I don’t expect anything from you. This isn’t a- a  _ transaction _ , Lotor. Sex isn’t the price for my love, and if you never want to have sex again, that’s alright.”

“You won’t resent me?” Lotor whispered.

“No,” Sendak said, gently caressing Lotor’s face. He tucked a stray lock of hair behind Lotor’s hair, then kissed Lotor’s forehead. “I hate the men who violated you, and I will hate them for the rest of my days, but I could never resent you, my love, especially for something that wasn’t even your fault.” 

“I tried to stop them,” Lotor whispered brokenly, tucking himself under Sendak’s chin. “I tried, I promise that I tried, but I couldn’t-“

“Shh,” Sendak murmured. “Shh, I know.” He rubbed Lotor’s back soothingly. 

“And I want to have sex with you,” Lotor admitted. “I want to have that kind of intimacy with you. It’s- It makes me feel loved, and safe, and worthy. I just- I don’t know if it will be the same as it was before, and that scares me.

“But I feel like, if we don’t, then they’ve won, somehow. Like they took the one good thing I have in my life and ruined it, and I can’t let them do that.”

“What do you want to do, then?” Sendak asked.

“I want to be close to you,” Lotor said. “I need you, Sendak. I need you to want me.” He paused, suddenly unsure. “Don’t you want me?”

“Of course I do,” Sendak said. “That’s something you never have to worry about.” He rubbed his thumb over Lotor’s cheek for a moment, then pulled him in for a soft, gentle kiss. 

Lotor put his arms around Sendak’s shoulders, embracing him and trying to erase the distance between them. “I love you,” he murmured. 

“I know,” Sendak said. “I love you, too. I love you so much, Lotor…” He peppered little kisses all over Lotor’s face, so light and gentle that it tickled a little, and Lotor couldn’t quite stifle his involuntary giggles.

That made Sendak smile, warm and genuine. Very few people ever got to see him like this, Lotor realized. He was known as a firm, strict commander, fair but disciplined. He’d hand out praise and punishment as they were earned, and believed in leading his troops from the front. 

But this softness was for Lotor alone. He’d never realized he needed it until Sendak gave it to him, and now he couldn’t imagine living without it. 

He pressed his forehead to Sendak’s. “You’re so good to me.”

“I like making you happy,” Sendak said. “Pleasing you is its own reward.” 

“I want to please you,” Lotor said. “I want you to take your pleasure from me. I- I don’t really care if I can’t- But you should. Let me… Let me do that much for you.”

Sendak was quiet for a long moment, just holding Lotor. “I’m not going to fuck you,” he said finally. “I don’t think you’d enjoy it tonight, and I couldn’t- It wouldn’t be satisfying if you didn’t.” 

“I don’t care,” Lotor protested softly.

“I do,” Sendak said. “Let’s- let’s try something else, alright?” 

Lotor nodded. He really didn’t care if he got off tonight or not; he just wanted Sendak to want him. And maybe...taking this slow, with whatever Sendak had in mind, would be better than rushing in headlong. 

Sendak kissed him just as sweetly as before, taking his time to slowly work Lotor up.

And… It was working, a little. Heat began pooling low in his belly, and he felt flushed and warm. Sendak knew him too well, knew that the soft open-mouthed kisses he left on Lotor’s throat and cheeks would be enough right now.

Lotor was surprised when Sendak dipped his hand into the front of his loose sleep pants and realized he was half-hard already, but maybe he shouldn’t have been; Sendak was a considerate lover, at least as interested in his partner’s pleasure as he was in his own. That was what had kept Lotor coming back for more, even before he developed feelings for Sendak. 

“Mm, perfect,” Sendak murmured, “so good for me.”

Lotor clutched at him, half-afraid of being swept away by this but trusting Sendak to be there with him. 

Sendak drew Lotor’s cock out and stroked him until he was fully hard before taking his hand away; Lotor couldn’t help his little whine. Sendak kissed the tip of his nose. 

Then he took Lotor’s hand and guided it to the front of his own pants. He was hard again. “Look at what you do to me,” Sendak said. “That’s all for you, my love.”

Lotor looked up at him, unbearably  _ grateful _ that Sendak always seemed to know what to say, and unsure how to express that.

Sendak gathered him up, holding him close enough that there was barely room for him to get his hand between them, so he could wrap it around both their cocks.

It felt-  _ good,  _ Sendak’s warm, overlarge hand on him, his cock pressed against his, the undeniable safety of being here in Sendak’s lap.

He could only cling to Sendak, hiding his face against Sendak’s throat, as Sendak stroked them off, a firm and steady pace that had Lotor coming almost before he could anticipate it. 

Sendak stroked him through it, until he was on the verge of overstimulation, before taking his hand away and wrapping both arms around Lotor.

He hadn’t come yet, Lotor noticed, so he snaked a hand down between them. His hand wouldn’t go all the way around Sendak’s cock, but that had never mattered before.

“Lotor,” Sendak breathed, “you don’t have to-“

“Please,” Lotor said. He wanted to do this much, at least, for him. “Please let me…”

“Alright,” Sendak relented, “alright.” He placed his hand on top of Lotor’s, providing guidance Lotor didn’t need. It only made this more intimate, though, as if it wasn’t intimate enough already.

It was the intimacy Lotor craved anyway, more than anything else, the ability to bare his soul, his very self all the way down to his bones, without fear.

Sendak came shortly thereafter, murmuring soft praises all the while.

Lotor didn’t realize he was crying until Sendak was telling him that it was alright, that he could let it all out, that he could cry if he needed to.

And he did. He wasn’t sure why; maybe it had all been too overwhelming. They’d had sex only a few weeks prior, but somehow… that had been different. Lotor hadn’t been sure he’d return, and he’d wanted to have one last piece of Sendak while he could, but now… Now he knew he’d have to live with whatever occurred here, and that was perhaps the most frightening thing. 

So he wrapped his arms tighter around Sendak, pressed his face closer to his throat, held on, and cried. 

It felt like lifetimes had passed by the time he was done. 

“That was really what you needed, wasn’t it?” Sendak asked softly.

Lotor nodded; Sendak was right. 

They didn’t move for a while, just stayed wrapped around each other. 

Finally, Sendak reached for the towel warmer on the bedside table and retrieved a warm washcloth. He wiped away Lotor’s tears gently, then cleaned up the cum between them.

FInally, he set the washcloth aside and kissed Lotor’s forehead. “I love you, Lotor, and I’ll say it as often as I need to for you to believe me.”

“I do believe you,” Lotor said. “You make it easy to believe you.”

Sendak rubbed his cheek against Lotor’s for a moment. “Are you ready for bed now?”

Lotor nodded, and Sendak rearranged them so that they were laying down, with Sendak still protectively curled around him.

“I never told you this,” Sendak said after a few moments. “I never told anyone this, but- When I lost my arm… That was almost a defeat. I almost died there, Lotor.”

“I remember the reports,” Lotor said.

“But then I thought about you, and how much I wanted to see you again, and I- That was all the motivation I needed.” He kissed Lotor’s cheek. “While I was in the infirmary, and through everything that followed… I kept thinking about you. I had a lot of time to think, and I realized… I realized that I wanted to spend the rest of whatever time I had left with you. I wanted to be yours forever. That’s why I asked you to marry me the very next time we saw each other.” He kissed Lotor’s other cheek. “You gave me the inspiration I needed to keep fighting, keep living…”

“I didn’t  _ do _ anything,” Lotor protested. 

“You’ve done everything for me,” Sendak said. “Just by being you.” 

Lotor didn’t know what to say to that, so he didn’t say anything. He just curled closer to Sendak, held onto him a little tighter. Sendak started purring, and after everything, it was so easy to fall asleep there, safe in Sendak’s arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today’s update is a little earlier than usual bc I’m tired, it’s finished, and I need some of that sweet, sweet validation


	14. Chapter 14

Some other thread of tension had eased in Lotor overnight, Sendak noted the next morning upon waking. He wasn’t curled up quite as tightly as he had been, instead half-sprawling across Sendak’s chest, sleeping peacefully.

Sendak kissed the top of his head, unable and unwilling to resist. He’d been so afraid that he’d made the wrong choice last night, that he had overstepped or failed to fulfill Lotor’s needs, but right now, it seemed that he’d done well. 

Lotor murmured something in his sleep, unintelligible but unconcerned, before rubbing his cheek against Sendak’s chest. One of the mindless little ways he comforted himself, and so terribly endearing. 

Kova had rejoined them sometime in the night, curled up behind Lotor’s knees, like a little void.

It seemed like this was one of thousands of mornings they’d spent together over the years, only… Sendak would have tried to wake Lotor by now, with kisses and teasing touches and indecent murmurs. Lotor wouldn’t have minded -he probably wouldn’t mind too much  _ now _ , in fact; they’d always been greedy for whatever they could have.

But the memory of the way Lotor had flinched away from him last night stayed his hand. Seeing Lotor sleep so peacefully -he hadn’t woken up at all last night, free of his nightmares for once -was at least as satisfying as any sex could be, if in a different way. 

It was still early -he’d probably never be able to break that soldiers’ habit - so there was no need for him to get up, probably waking Lotor in the process. He was asleep practically on top of him, after all. 

Sendak didn’t mind. For once in their lives, they had  _ time _ . 

Lotor woke on his own sometime later. “Good morning,” he murmured sleepily. He’d never really been a morning person, though he could fake it when he needed to.

Right now, he didn’t.

Sendak kissed the top of his head. “Good morning, my love.” 

Lotor hummed softly.

They cuddled quietly for a while longer, not really needing to say or do anything.

Finally, though, Sendak had a Sentry bring breakfast in, and they ate in bed, Lotor leaning up against Sendak’s chest.

It was so nice that Sendak couldn’t stifle the soft purring bubbling up in his chest. He didn’t want to, either; he wanted Lotor to know that he was enjoying this time with him just like this. This was enough, because it was Lotor. 

Lotor smiled softly. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Sendak said, rubbing his cheek against Lotor’s neck and shoulder. 

Lotor tilted his head to one side, allowing Sendak better access.

Sendak’s purr only grew louder.

Finally, Lotor squirmed away, laughing softly. “You’d do that all day if I let you, wouldn’t you?”

Sendak hummed an agreement, kissing Lotor’s cheek; he hadn't gone far. 

His expression softened even more, awed and impossibly fond. But he didn’t say anything further about it. “Sendak,” he said instead, “I would like to get back to my work.” 

“If you’re ready,” Sendak said, “I won’t stop you.”

“I grow weary of sitting around doing nothing,” Lotor continued. “I would like to go back to the lab and just...do something useful.”

“Alright,” Sendak said. “What do you plan to work on?”

“I want Voltron destroyed,” Lotor said, “so I’ll have to find a way to make that happen.”

“Ambitious,” Sendak teased softly.

Lotor’s mouth twitches up on one side in a shy smile. “You promised to see it through, despite having no means by which you, or anyone else,  _ could _ .”

“And yet I would have found a way,” Sendak said. 

Lotor’s smile grew, though it was still small and soft. “Yes, I know. But let me do that.”

“You are better at that sort of thing anyway,” Sendak agreed, kissing the tip of Lotor’s ear. “Shall I expect you for dinner?”

“I think,” Lotor said thoughtfully, “that you should come get me when you are done with your business for the day. You know how I can get.”

The idea delighted Sendak. Lotor could get so wrapped up in his projects that he might skip meals and sleep, spending days on end in the lab, until he either collapsed or Sendak managed to drag him out. Actually having an evening with Lotor would be… Well. He could think of no better way to spend an evening. 

“I’ll be there,” he promised.

* * *

Sendak made one last stop before he went to Lotor’s lab.

It had been a busy day, and he was just about ready for it to come to an end, but he’d put this off long enough. 

The Paladins were not particularly happy to see him, but that was no surprise. He wasn’t particularly happy to see them either, though he was glad they were someplace where they couldn’t hurt Lotor or anyone else. 

“Where’s Keith?” The Champion demanded, before Sendak could say anything. “Where is he!”

The name was not familiar to Sendak, but he assumed the Champion was referring to the little hybrid former Paladin. “Dead, along with the rest of the Blade of Marmora.” The only really useful thing the witch had done. “But you knew that.” They just hadn’t wanted to accept it. “Regardless, you will soon be reunited with him.”

“Lotor won’t let you-“ 

“How dare you try to speak for my husband,” Sendak growled. “After everything he did for you, and all you did to him.”

“We didn’t-“ the Altean Princess tried to protest. 

“You sent him to his death!” He paused, calmed himself. “And yet you still feel no remorse. It doesn’t matter; you’ll all be dead soon enough.”

He turned and left, savoring the malicious satisfaction at ignoring their shouts and curses. It was hopeless for them, and if they had not figured that out yet, they would soon. In that cell or on the execution block; it didn’t matter which.

He went straight to the lab Lotor had commandeered. 

Lotor did not look up when he entered, too focused on whatever he was working on. Sendak rapped on the doorframe to get his attention.

Lotor finally looked up and his face lit up when he saw that it was Sendak. “Darling, is it evening already?”

Sendak could not help but smile. “It is. Are you at a point where you can set your work aside until tomorrow?”

Lotor glanced down at his tablet, then back up at Sendak. “I suppose I am.” 

Sendak bent down to kiss him, and then picked him up. 

Lotor laughed, surprised. “Sendak!”

Sendak kissed him again -he really could never get enough of that -and proceeded to carry Lotor back to their quarters, not particularly caring if anyone saw. He was the Emperor now, and Lotor was his husband, so if he wanted to carry Lotor through the halls of their ship, then he would. 

He only set Lotor down when they got back to their quarters, Lotor still smiling at his antics. “I take it you had a good day,” he said, stooping to pick up Kova.

“Not really,” Sendak said, “but now I get to spend the rest of it with you.” 

Lotor’s expression softened further. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

They talked and ate and cuddled, things they’d never gotten to do before without the sense of urgency hanging over them, and it was… It was better than Sendak could have imagined. The rest of their lives could be like this, and it was perfect just like this. 

Finally, Lotor turned to him. “I think,” he began softly, “that my project will be ready within a week.”

“So soon?” Sendak asked, surprised and impressed. 

Lotor nodded. “Aren’t you ready for this to be over?”

“Of course. I just… Even knowing what you’re capable of, I thought it would take more time.”

Lotor was pleased by the comment, and he leaned up to kiss Sendak on the cheek. “Thank you. For everything, Sendak.”

“It’s my pleasure and my honor,” Sendak said, turning and catching Lotor’s mouth with his own, pulling him close and pouring all the pride and love he felt for Lotor into the kiss. 

Lotor yielded -something he never did for anyone else -letting Sendak love him the way he deserved. And that was all they really needed. 


	15. Chapter 15

Lotor woke slowly, knowing he was safe. Sendak’s presence was all around him, like a cozy quilt, so deeply ingrained that there was no confusion in the transition from sleep to wake. 

“Good morning,”  he murmured, not yet ready to open his eyes. He knew Sendak was awake, though. 

“Good morning,” Sendak replied. “Did I wake you?”

”No.” He pressed himself closer to Sendak. “Were you trying to?”

”No. There was no reason to.” He kissed the top of Lotor’s head. “It’s nice to see you resting so easily.” 

“You’re here,” Lotor said simply. 

Sendak held him a little tighter. “I will always be here, Lotor, I promise.”

Lotor smiled softly, sadly, to himself. Of course Sendak would make promises like that. And yet...Lotor believed him. It was so easy to believe him.

Once, he might have argued, tried to present a logical, reasonable response. 

Today, he didn’t care to. He wanted -needed -to believe that Sendak would always be with him.

(The idea of having to live on without Sendak was unimaginably terrible, and always had been. But now, with Sendak so integrally important to his feelings of safety and security…) 

“I know,” he said. He turned over and propped himself up on Sendak’s chest, stealing a kiss, just because he could.

He still wasn’t used to living with Sendak full-time and all the things that came with it: lazy mornings in bed, evenings spent together over a game board, stolen kisses and freely-given kisses and kisses that were secret but not because they needed to be. 

It was new and exhilarating and- 

There were still things between them that hadn’t been there before that kept them both from enjoying this new part of their life together.

But Sendak was patient, and he should be, too. It would take time, and since Sendak was willing to wait… 

“Today’s the day,” he murmured.

“I’m proud of you, my love,” Sendak said. “If anyone could have found a way, it would be you.”

“How is it,” Lotor asked softly, “that you always seem to know what I need to hear?”

”I know you,” Sendak said. “All you’ve ever really needed was a little love and encouragement. I just wish you’d had it before I was there to give it to you.”

Lotor kissed him again. He didn’t really know what to say, but this was easy enough. 

After today, it would all be over. Every last name on Lotor’s list would be crossed off, every last offense repaid with interest. Voltron would no longer be a threat. They would step into the unknown, a universe without Voltron, but…

“I love you,” he told Sendak, needing to make sure he knew.

“I love you, too,” Sendak said. “Until the last star burns out.” 

* * *

The presentation of the thing was as important as the thing itself. Lotor had always appreciated a bit of showmanship: the way it could be used to make a point or direct attention or simply to make something more memorable.

And this would certainly be memorable.

Central Command had a huge viewport built into the throne room, floor-to-ceiling along one wall, that could be turned from opaque to transparent in mere seconds. 

The throne afforded a good view of it, showcasing whatever was beyond the viewport in such a way that the Emperor would not have to crane his neck.

Lotor stood by the throne, his hand resting on one arm, and Sendak’s hand resting on top of it. 

“Bring in the Paladins of Voltron,” Sendak ordered.

This was ritual, ceremony, an old war-custom of the Galra, to execute the leaders of their enemies once the war was over, if they had fought dishonorably, if they had not found death in the course of the war. It was about preventing further conflict, about making a point:  _ those who stand against us will die.  _

There were some who could not be reasoned with.

Beyond the viewport, the five Lions of Voltron floated in the vacuum of space, held in place by great tethers, held exactly where Lotor wanted them, so the harmonic resonance would work to greatest effect, and yet far enough away from Central Command that any damage would be minimal.

The Paladins were brought in and forced to their knees before the throne, their hands cuffed behind their backs. 

How it must rankle for them to be brought so low.

They were nothing without their Lions. Everything they had, they’d been given, never forced to fight and bleed for it.

But they would now die for it. 

“When you are ready,” Sendak said to Lotor.

”Watch,” Lotor said to the paladins. “Watch as I cleanse this universe of Alfor’s great arrogance.”

There was shouting -they could not accept their defeat with anything resembling grace, even now that it was so clearly hopeless -but it didn’t matter.

Lotor pulled up the commands on his gauntlet, and the sequence began. 

He could feel it in his bones as the quintessence in the Lions resonated and reverberated. He’d always been sensitive to it; he was a creature of the Rift, too, born of it just as much as Voltron had been.

It felt...good, watching as the Lions began shaking, as the structural integrity began failing, as they began glowing.

The Paladins started screaming behind him, but he only had eyes for Voltron, the real prize, the thing his father had coveted more than anything else, as it broke apart into motes of light.

Central Command shook with the force of it, and then everything was still and silent for a long, long moment.

“It’s over, My Emperor,” Lotor murmured. “Voltron is no more.” 

He turned finally, to look at Sendak once more, only to find that Sendak was watching him with satisfaction and pride and love. 

“I knew you could do it,” Sendak said quietly, words meant for Lotor alone. 

Lotor smiled softly, not out of any particular joy, but- It was nice to have someone who believed in him, and always had.

“End it,” Sendak said sharply, turning away from Lotor, and to the officers that stood behind each member of Voltron. 

Sendak had selected them carefully; this was an honor for them, and Sendak had meant to bestow it carefully, in order to secure his reign with a network of alliances among the Galra elite. 

The officers executed their orders efficiently. Lotor didn’t look; he didn’t have the stomach for the killing. He only wanted it to be over, and now it was. 

Sentries cleared the bodies away, although they did not do anything about the pools of crimson blood staining the floor.

Sendak stood, pulling Lotor with him so that they were facing, their hands clasped together.

Lotor should have knelt for this part, but there was no way he could. He still needed the knee brace for normal activities, and kneeling would have put undue strain on the joint.

So he stood, bowing his head, which was the best he could do right now.

“Do you,” Sendak began, “pledge to stand by my side through my reign, as you pledged to stand by my side when we were first wed?”

“I do,” Lotor said softly. Too softly, probably, but his mouth was suddenly dry, and it was an effort to speak up.

“Do you pledge to obey me as your Emperor and counsel me as your husband?”

“I do.” 

“Do you accept all the responsibilities and duties that will be expected of you, as the Prince Consort of the Galra Empire, as my right hand, as my closest and most trusted advisor?”

“I do.” 

“Then it is my pleasure to name you Prince Lotor, Imperial Consort of the Galra Empire.” Sendak brought one of his hands to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to his knuckles, and then they turned, facing the assembled Galra before them, with their hands held aloft, still entwined. “Bow before your prince!”

They all knelt. 


	16. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The best revenge is living well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place an unspecified amount of time after the previous chapter, but it’s at least one month (probably more tho).

Lotor drifted, his mind pleasantly blank. It was difficult to think past the waves of deep relaxation rolling over him, pulling him under.

He could fall asleep like this: on his stomach, Sendak behind him, massaging healing salve into his back. He had before, after all, and he’d had a long day today. A good day, all things considered, but long.

These moments were becoming more rare, because the salve only needed to be applied a few times a week now, instead of twice a day. Still, he had a feeling that Sendak wouldn’t mind doing this even after the salve was no longer necessary. 

Finally, and yet too soon, Sendak finished up and put the jar of salve back on the bedside table. 

Then he was draping himself over Lotor’s back, nuzzling and nipping his neck affectionately. “I want you,” he murmured.

Lotor… didn’t tense. He was too relaxed to, after his warm shower and the massage. But it did surprise him, a little. Roused him, just slightly, from his drowsy haze. Made heat pool low in his belly, at the thought of  _ being wanted. _

Sendak hadn’t initiated anything since Before, and Lotor hadn’t really asked since the last time; he’d been afraid of Sendak’s continued rejections, even if he understood the reasons for them.

Still… “Do you?” Lotor asked, inordinately pleased.

“Always,” Sendak said, so close Lotor could feel the warmth of his breath against his ear. “Always.”

Lotor hummed contentedly. It was nice to be reminded that Sendak loved him, found him attractive, desired him, especially now. “Do something about it,” he said. 

“Yeah?” Sendak asked, smoothing his hand down Lotor’s side and back. 

“How do you want me?” Lotor asked. With Sendak draped over his back, he couldn’t move much, couldn’t press up against him or roll over or anything like that, and even if that weren’t true, he was still too pliant and relaxed from his massage to move. But that just meant Sendak would have to arrange him however he liked. 

He found the idea quite nice, actually. 

“Like this,” Sendak said, “and however else you’ll let me have you.”

“This is good,” Lotor said. “Want you like this.”

“Do you?” Sendak asked. “How much, baby?”

Lotor laughed; this was too much like the way things had been before, playful and carefree and teasing, that he couldn’t help it. He felt...young again, in a way. “Are you seriously going to make me beg?”

“Maybe,” Sendak said. “Do you want to?”

”Not tonight.” He was too tired for it, and just wanted Sendak.

Sendak kissed the back of his neck. “Alright, baby.” 

He made quick work of opening Lotor up. He wasn’t careless, of course; he never was, when it came to Lotor. He just didn’t tease as much as he usually did, didn’t even try to reduce Lotor into a begging mess (a favorite game of theirs, but one neither of them had the patience for tonight).

Despite that, Lotor was mewling and rutting against the mattress by the time he was done. He’d forgotten how nice this was. Memory didn’t compare, not really, and it had been such a long time, it seemed. 

Sendak pulled his fingers free, and Lotor whined at the empty feeling. Sendak hushed him and lifted his hips up enough to slide a pillow underneath them, propping him up enough to make this easier. 

Lotor wanted easy and sweet and tender tonight. They could be adventurous in bed together, and they had fun doing it, but tonight he didn’t need or want anything fancy. Just Sendak. 

“Relax for me, baby,” Sendak murmured, his way of warning Lotor before he started pressing in.

Lotor savored the pleasant burn of the initial penetration, the way Sendak filled him, so big and hot and thick that he could think of nothing else. The way Sendak pushed in oh-so-slowly, but steadily, nothing rushed or frenzied about it. 

They had all the time in the universe to be good to each other, whatever else was thrown at them. 

Sendak nuzzled his neck and shoulders while he waited, tracing arcane patterns on his skin with his lips and the occasional soft graze of his fangs.

It was...perfect, everything he needed from Sendak and more. 

“What are you thinking about right now?” Sendak murmured, and Lotor realized he’d been quiet a little too long, lost in his own thoughts.

“You,” he answered honestly. 

That earned him a pleased rumble from Sendak. “Good, baby, you’re always so good for me.” His hips jerked a little, before he got himself back under control.

“I’m ready,” Lotor said. “Whenever you’re ready.” 

“Are you sure?” Sendak asked, gentle and serious at once. “If you’re not, that’s alright.”

“I’m sure,” Lotor said, equally serious. “It’s you.”

Sendak moved, pulling out just a little, then rocking back in, slow and gentle, like waves lapping against the shore. 

He braced himself on the bed with his new prosthetic (Lotor’s second big project, once Voltron was destroyed) and his other hand found one of Lotor’s; he twined their fingers together, squeezing just a little. Lotor squeezed back. 

“I love you,” Sendak whispered. “I love you so much, baby.”

“Love you, too,” Lotor whispered back, barely able to speak, with the growing heat in his belly and the overwhelming amount of pure affection building in his heart. “More than anything.” 

Sendak rumbled approvingly, and it slowly turned into a purr, a sign of just how content he was.

This was too sweet to be called “fucking”; this was  _ making love _ , pure and simple, easier than anything else ever had been. 

Sendak always made it so easy. Falling in love with him had been as simple as breathing; actually acknowledging those feelings had been another matter, but Sendak had helped him with that, too. 

Somehow, Lotor knew that even if he’d been deprived of his senses, he would have known that it was Sendak with him right now. No one else had ever, or could ever, make him feel like this: loved and cherished and precious. And he wouldn’t want anyone else to even try.

(For fuck’s sake, Sendak was so happy to be doing this, he was literally purring in the middle of sex. Who else would feel that way for Lotor? And why should he settle for less?)

Sendak had spent centuries getting to know Lotor’s body with a deep and intimate knowledge that was rivaled by nothing else Lotor had ever experienced, and therefore it was not surprising that Sendak’s every thrust -as slow and gentle as they were - made him see entire galaxies behind his eyelids. 

The slow pace made it all last for... _ centuries _ , if Lotor had to guess, which was fine, because he didn’t want it to end. 

Inevitably, it had to, the pleasure building him cresting to an unsustainable level, and Lotor surrendered to it. 

Sendak finished a few thrusts later, still purring, still as close to Lotor as he could get. 

He carefully maneuvered them onto their sides. They didn’t say anything for a long while, content with this.

Sendak nuzzled Lotor’s neck; Lotor could feel the curve of his smile. “Hm?”

“It’s nice to hear you purr again,” Sendak answered. 

Lotor hadn’t realized that he was purring. “I- I’m happy,” he said, realizing that was true, too. It had been so long since he’d felt like this. He’d forgotten what it felt like, how to get here.

But he had Sendak to guide him, help him.

He turned over in Sendak’s arms, facing him. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He kissed Lotor, as slowly and sweetly as everything else he’d done tonight. 

They kissed for a while; Lotor didn’t care about the passing of time right now. The only things that mattered were Sendak and realizing that the things he thought were between them simply weren’t.

It was a relief, and a joy. A triumph, even, perhaps. It was  _ everything _ , because as long as he had Sendak, then…

“I have something for you,” Sendak murmured finally.

”You didn’t have to-“ Lotor began.

Sendak quieted him with a kiss on the tip of his nose. “I wanted to.” He reached for something from the drawer of his bedside table and handed it to Lotor.

It was a small, rectangular package. He carefully tore off the brown wrapping paper, not knowing what to expect. Sendak had a habit of surprising (and delighting) him with his gift selections. 

It was a little box, and inside…

A set of cloak pins. Very fine, and very familiar. 

He looked up at Sendak, confused.

“I know that you lost just about everything,” Sendak said. “I wanted to...replace what I could of it, and I thought I’d start at the beginning.”

“Some things are irreplaceable,” Lotor said. 

“I know,” Sendak said. He kissed Lotor again. “But I want you to be able to show off the courting gifts I gave you. I like seeing you wear things that I’ve given you.”

Lotor smiled fondly at that. “They’re just as beautiful as I remember.” 

“But not half as beautiful as you,” Sendak said, punctuating his words with another kiss. “Will you accept my gift?”

“Yes,” Lotor said. “Of course.” He set the box aside, on his own bedside table, and kissed Sendak. “Thank you, my darling.”

“Whatever you need or want, my love,” Sendak said. “If it’s within my power, it will be yours.”

Lotor curled back up in his embrace, listening to the steady beat of Sendak’s heart, genuinely at peace for the first time in a long, long time. 

It was finally over. 


End file.
